


Suga's Hip Hop Replay

by foxyseok



Category: bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bad Boy Min Yoongi | Suga, College AU, Dom Min Yoongi | Suga, Dom/sub Undertones, F/M, Fighting scene?, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, Mentions of Blood, Oral Sex, Producer Min Yoongi | Suga, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, ahaha surprise, mentions of fisting, mentios of fisting, yoongi is bi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2020-10-18 20:40:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20645348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxyseok/pseuds/foxyseok
Summary: Yoongi is a constant voice in my mind. No, I'm not crazy, he's just the broadcast's host of the university's radio station. And when I finally meet the voice I dreamed so much about, I get even more entranced by him. Too bad he doesn't give a fuck about me.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm bad at summaries, ugh. This was inspired by Yoongi's playlists on Spotify. Yes, this is in first person but it's still member/reader, I just like writing in first person. I don't use y/n because it breaks the story's flow though. Also, English is not my native language, but I try my best :(

I hear his voice everyday. Even when he doesn’t go live, I still have a few of his broadcasts downloaded on my phone to listen to. I have absolutely nothing to say for myself, I love his voice and that’s it. I heard him for the first time when a girl by my side, sitting on the campus grass like me, had Suga’s Hip Hop Replay playing while she was drawing a huge bug on her notebook. My ears picked up the radio host’s voice when the song was over, I suddenly became very interested in what he had to say about the track I didn’t even listen to.

I don’t consider myself a voice type of girl. I always thought I was more of a hands type of girl, but Yoongi’s voice made rethink that.

_“And that was Goosebumps by Travis Scott featuring Kendrick Lamar”_, I hear through my ear buds. To be honest, I never listened to half of the songs Yoongi plays. Hip hop is not even my thing, for God’s sake. Still, I see myself tuning in the university’s radio just so I can listen to his daily radio show. For my happiness, despite the name, he doesn’t play only Hip Hop.

Some days, Yoongi plays three songs in a row without saying a single word. And when he opens his mouth, it’s quick, rushed, like he’s not interested in whatever he has to say. In other days, he plays literally one song and spends the rest of his hour babbling, these are my favorite days. His low, deep, calm, blessed by the radio gods voice rambling about something as simple as the cafeteria’s chicken sandwich or something as deep as the roots of capitalism.

Whatever Yoongi has to say, I want to hear.

_“Sometimes I wonder what you guys want to hear from me, not that I care enough to actually talk about whatever it is”_, Yoongi says like he just read my thoughts, making me jump in my seat. I look around; everyone seems to be focused on their books. We are in the library, after all, and I should be reading this last chapter of Truman Capote’s _In Cold Blood_, but Yoongi’s voice is so much more interesting. _“Still, if anyone wants to send suggestions, I’m willing to at least read them. If it’s something dumb, I’ll make sure to block your email”_, he adds. And that’s the Yoongi I’m used to. He has an acid humor, his personality can easily be mistaken by plainly rude, but I find him quite funny.

When Yoongi lets people call him during the broadcast, usually to debate about a subject that has been bothering him, he quickly decides if you’re going to be worth his time. If you’re smart enough to debate with him, and entertain his bored mind, you get a free pass for fifteen minutes of Yoongi spiting fire at you and tearing down your opinions. I also love these days, that’s when I get to hear his fast, slightly angry and hot like lava voice.

_“To wrap it up, I’ll go with Diego by Tory Lanez. And as always, thank you for listening.”_

I put down my ear buds, sadly looking at the laptop’s screen, Yoongi’s online radio station tab still open. I minimize it – already knowing today’s broadcast will be uploaded and ready to be downloaded in a couple hours – and open my emails. I’m almost considering writing for him when I see one of my own emails still unread; my professor sent it to the whole class.

> I need at least one volunteer!

I spend the next minutes reading and rereading the information, not believing my luck. Well, I can’t call it luck when it took almost two years to happen. Still, I’m not letting it slide.

* * *

“What if he’s hot as fuck?”, Annie asks.

I ignore my friend’s excited voice, focused on the book shelf in front of me. I have to find John Hersey’s Hiroshima but Annie keeps on distracting me.

“Not like a bit hot, I’m talking big here. What if he’s super hot? Sun level type of hot”, she continues.

“What does that even mean?”, I give up on trying to find the book, the university’s library being way too big and diverse for my unknowing self. I’ll just wait for the librarian to come back. “And why are you making a big deal out of it? There are a lot of hot guys in here already, he’d just be another one.”

I’ve never seen Yoongi, neither did Annie. There are no pictures of him on the website and it’s not like I went further than that to actually see him. After I replied to my professor’s email – being the only one who did so since apparently no one is interested in working at the radio station this semester, or ever – he told me I could start on Monday. My job consists in choosing important news of the day, or the day before, writing it in a radio news format and recording them so it can be broadcasted throughout the day. It was being done by another Journalism student that, fortunately, graduated last semester. Quite easy and a bit boring, but that meant I would spend some time at the radio station.

I would finally meet Yoongi.

At first, I didn’t really want to, I felt like his voice was enough. As time passed, I got more curious but never enough to go around and ask people if they knew where to find him since the radio station is not even near my building. I could just mingle around there to see him after a broadcast, but that’s weird even for me.

“You’re such a party pooper”, Annie drags me out of the library, pushing me to the building I should be going. “Now go, take a picture of him and send me!”

I put on my ear buds and run through the campus because of the cold weather, trying my best to keep the wind outside my clothes. _“… now, you see, they want you to think it’s because of the food you throw out, they want you to believe that your family’s waste is responsible for the world hunger and not the decaying and rotten government. And what do we do? We just buy that crap and tell the kids what we were told.”_ Oh, today is one of those days. Yoongi is inspired.

I get inside the building and find the radio station easily, silently opening the door and looking around. It has vintage vibes, a shelf full of vinyl’s discs, two old brown leather couches, some more music inspired decorations and the soundproof radio booth. There’s a red ‘on air’ light on the wall, signaling that he is live. I put down my bag, getting closer to the glass.

_“But that’s just one of the thousands of things they blame us for when it’s the system’s fault”_, I still hear him through my ear buds.

His legs are crossed, perched up on the edge of the desk where all the equipment is displayed. The back of his chair is facing me, but I can see a bit of him. His elbow is on the arm of the chair, his head being supported by his hand. Yoongi has raven black hair, his skin is so pale under the fluorescent light of the booth.

_“We live in a dystopia since men decided they should live in societies”_, he finally turns his chair around, facing me for the first time.

Annie couldn’t be more right.

His harmonic features are astonishing; the tiny button nose, slightly plump lips, perfectly straight brows and incredibly razor sharp brown eyes. Yoongi was hot, Sun level type of hot. _“And we’re all in it pretending it’s a damn utopia.”_

I realize I’ve been bluntly staring at him like the lunatic that I look like right now. I break eye contact and look around me again, pretending to get interested in one particular vinyl disc.

_“Anyways, as always, thank you for listening”_, he talked so much that not even the ending song could be played.

I take off my ear buds, putting them inside my bag again, and wait for Yoongi to come out. I feel my hands start to shake. What should I tell him? _Oh God, this is my first impression. I should sound cool, he is cool so I have to sound even cooler._

_Huh? What am I? A third grader?_

“And you are?”, I didn’t know it was possible for his voice to sound even better in person and I was wrong.

Yoongi is wearing black jeans, black boots, a big black t-shirt under a black leather jacket. Okay, that’s some hot emo boyfriend vibe. His eyes, though, are the darkest thing on him. They don’t give away any feeling, don’t let me know if he thinks I’m dumb or worth his time.

“I’m the new Journalism student.” Yoongi arches an eyebrow. Wait, what did I just say? “I mean, I’m the new intern, I’ll be taking care of the Thirty Seconds News from now on.” God, that was horrible.

“Oh. I thought they had given up on that shit already”, and finally I can see a feeling on his face; displeasure.

“It was just a break since the last one graduated and…”

“Did he? That dude was dumb as fuck.” Yoongi grabs a black leather bag on the floor besides the couch and hangs it on his shoulder. “When will you graduate?”, he asks suddenly.

“In two years”, I start to fidget on my place, the combination of his deep raspy voice with the cold stare proving to be too much for me.

“Then I guess I’ll have to bear with you until I graduate”, Yoongi says before leaving.

* * *

“So he’s an asshole”.

I flip my page back instead of forward, my mind not fully grasping the last paragraphs with Annie never shutting up.

“Well, I’ve listened to some of his broadcasts, he’s pretty… tough”, she whispers so the librarian won’t come here to shush her again. “You like it that way though, don’t you? A bit rougher?”, Annie looks around while speaking, glaring at anyone who dares to look at us when she’s talking about this.

“I have to finish this chapter and so do you. Can you shut up?”, I ask her. “And what the fuck are you talking about me liking it rough? Where did you…”

“Miss! Silence!”, the librarian hisses at us, making me sigh and close the book.

“Whatever, I have to go anyways”, I grab my bag and leave the almost full library, students glaring at me and Annie while she’s rushing to follow my steps.

“Hey! Go where? We don’t have classes!”, Annie shouts as soon as we are out, the cold wind instantly punishing our skin.

“I have to write my script and record it”, I grab her hand, realizing how small it is compared to mine. “Annie, you have to read Hiroshima. The debate is in two weeks and we all know how long you take to finish a book, better start now.”

“What? I thought you were going to say something about the radio hottie!”

“Is this his nickname now?”, I ask, already walking away from her.

“The way you described him got me, so yes.”

“Fair. Now go finish the damn book!”, I yell at her. “Or at least start it”, I whisper to myself. As much as Annie is an amazing friend, she’s the worst student I’ve seen. And I’m not even close to be the best student in class, but she’s so bad that I look like the perfect one.

I get to the empty radio station, putting my bag and book down on the couch, eyeing through the glass of the booth just to make sure no one’s there. Yoongi’s broadcast is in an hour so I still have time to write the script and read a bit of my book. I start to scroll through the news I picked, rewriting them in simpler sentences so it’ll be more harmonic to hear, and my mind drifts off to Yoongi. His voice now has a face, so it’s much more interesting to hear it.

As soon as I got to my dorm yesterday, I fell asleep deeply without turning on the alarm, waking up late for class in the morning. I didn’t get to think much about him and how he has been affecting me for a while now. What started with ‘he’s got a nice voice’ escalated to ‘he’s got a sexy voice’ and now is ‘he’s probably good in bed’.

“You’re here”, the voice in my head is projected outside. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how deep and melodic it is. Yoongi walks inside the station wearing ripped jeans, a black t-shirt, blue jeans jacket and an annoyed look on his face.

“I work here too, you know”, I shrug, focusing on the laptop in front of me just so I won’t have to look at his alluring figure anymore. “Don’t know what was your problem with the last guy but I have nothing to do with it, dude.”

I wait, pretending to be writing when I’m actually getting ready for his acid reply, but I’m presented with silence. I look up to see he’s not even there anymore, catching his silhouette moving inside the booth. He puts on his sturdy headset, removing the jeans jacket and draping it over the chair, making himself comfortable.

Yoongi gets everything ready, not glancing at me not even once. It’s like he’s inside his own world, too busy to care about me eyeing him through the glass. I also make myself comfortable on the couch, putting on my ear buds to listen to him since the booth is soundproof; nothing comes out or gets in.

As the minutes go by, I see myself staring at his hands working with the buttons and bars. Maybe I am still a hands type of girl. The veins in his arms go down to his pale hands. He has long, elegant fingers, like a pianist. A song I heard being played in a random party once starts to flow in my ears, the broadcast has started.

The song is perfect to be danced with someone during hot summer nights’ parties, to wrap an arm around your partner’s neck, to bring your body close to them. My eyes are completely lost in Yoongi mouthing to the lyrics, reading something on his laptop’s screen. I can only think how it’d feel to dance with him.

_“You’re tuned in Suga’s Hip Hop Replay and this was French Montana’s Unforgettable featuring Swae Lee”_, Yoongi’s voice makes me shift in my seat, suddenly feeling warm and fuzzy. _“I read some of your emails, blocked some too, and most were suggesting me to answer calls live again, which, in my opinion, is boring. But today I had my favorite Americano at the coffee shop so I’m in a good mood.”_ I let myself drown in his voice, looking at his soft lips speaking the words with a slight pout.

_“You’re live so watch your damn mouth. What’s your name and your question?”_, Yoongi asks as soon as he picks up the first phone call. _“Hi, I’m… Jessica.”_

Wait a minute.

_“Jessica, okay. So what’s up?”_

_“My friend is into this guy…”_

I know this voice and this is no Jessica! I jump out of the couch, kneeling on the floor to rummage inside my bag for my phone.

_“Are you kidding me, girl? You’re wasting my time to talk about your friend’s crush?”_

_“Wait! This is serious, I really need your help, Yoongi”_, she begs.

Not just any “she”. That’s Annie. I call her number when I retrieve my phone but it goes into the voicemail immediately. God damn it, Annie. What are you up to this time?

_“Say it then”_, he demands.

I go back to my seat on the couch, looking at him through the glass, trying to calm my heart. He doesn’t know Annie, it’s okay, he could never recognize her voice.

_“So, this guy is very hot, Sun level type of hot”._

No, Annie! Why?

_“And she has been into him for a while now but she never actually saw him”_, my unreliable friend completes.

I’m doomed.

_“How the fuck does she know he’s hot then?”_, Yoongi’s brows furrow and he shakes his head like he can’t believe he’s having this conversation. Funny how he can curse but his guests can’t.

_“Well, she recently saw him. But she didn’t know him in person before, she fell for his voice. And don’t get me wrong, she’s hot too. Taller than average and smart.”_ Of course I look tall and smart for Annie, she’s like a little miniature of a person who doesn’t know what reading a book feels like. _“But he’s so cold and rude sometimes, I don’t think she can ask him out.”_

_“Why does she like him if he’s rude? Move on already”_, Yoongi’s voice may be harsh, a bit raspier than normal, but he leans back in his chair, visibly getting comfortable with the talk.

_“She likes it rough.”_

Yoongi remains silent for a few seconds, without actually expressing any type of emotion. He slowly turns his chair until we’re facing each other.

_“Does she?”_

I stop breathing. There’s no way Yoongi knows it’s me, still the reality that he’s talking about me while looking at me is… a lot to process.

_“Yeah, she might not say it out loud, but I know one of the reasons why she liked him in the first place was his harsh personality. She even had a wet dream with him.”_

This is it. I’m going to kill Annie.

_“You are the friend, aren’t you?”_

I know he’s talking to Annie, but I hear his deep voice in my ears as his eyes are glued to mine and it feels like the question is directed to me.

_“No! I swear! You’re not even my type”_, Annie laughs without humor before realizing what she just did.

_“You’re not the friend but I’m the guy. I see”_, Yoongi smirks slightly, his fingers playing with some wires.

I don’t know how Annie is hanging on there but I know I might not survive. My hands start shaking and I hide them in my back pockets, breaking eye contact with Yoongi.

He is rewarded with a beep signaling the end of the call. Nice, Annie. You handled this pretty well.

_“That was fun. I might do more if it’s going to be this entertaining”_, he turns his chair again, staring at his laptop screen like nothing happened.

I spend the rest of his broadcast texting Annie but her scared ass doesn’t even read me. Yoongi wraps it up and leaves the booth with his jacket in hand. I, once again, pretend I’m too busy with my stuff to look him in the eye.

“When are you leaving?”, he asks.

“I’ll just record a small script and go”, I respond still not staring at him.

“Be out before 9 p.m. cause they tend to close the building without checking if there’s anyone inside the station”, he says and leaves. I watch his silhouette getting engulfed by the darkness outside the room. I look at my phone, it’s barely 8 in the afternoon and, surprisingly, it’s a Friday night that Annie still hasn’t texted me a place we can go out later. She really thinks I’ll kill her for the stunt she pulled today.

* * *

I wait outside the dorms’ building, watching some students move around the campus.

“Before anything, I had a reason for that”, Annie arrives with both her arms up, surrendering herself to the lecture I didn’t prepare. “You never do shit about your crushes and this was the first time I saw you going after one of them in a while. And I also know you need more info on that guy so I was trying to gather that, okay? Don’t yell at me”, she pouts and waits, scooping closer to me to protect herself from the harsh wind.

“I didn’t go after him, I just took the radio station’s internship”, I intertwine our arms so we’re walking together to the party’s location. “And I don’t need your help with that. If I want him, I’ll just tell him”.

“Yeah”, Annie scoffs.

“I’m serious”, I look down to my black sneakers and to Annie’s boots.

I know she won’t believe me, I wouldn’t either. I’m not the best when it comes to this type of shit. I’m either too straightforward or way too cold. The guys I had a slight interest in either put me on the ever so familiar friendzone or didn’t have a clue that I actually wanted them and never spoke to me. But I’m graduating in two years, half of my college experience is gone with some random hookups, weird dudes and cute girls.

Yoongi, on the other hand, seems different. He’s been the voice in my mind since my first week of classes, always a constant presence. Imagine my surprise when I woke up in the middle of the night, during a hot summer, swimming in a pool of my own sweat and with my thighs slick with a release I didn’t even know I had. My dream? Nothing but me, myself and I, lying down on my bed with a demanding, raspy and deep voice telling me what to do; Yoongi’s voice.

That’s when I realized I was in this deeper than I thought.

“Annie! You’re here, you weirdo!” a blond guy shouts at us as soon as we step inside the fraternity’s house.

Ah. Him.

“What the fuck, Jin? Don’t call me like that in front of others, they’ll believe you”, she slaps his arm and he doesn’t even flinch.

Seokjin is one of the guys I was interested in and one of those who probably didn’t realize and didn’t even spoke to me once. He smiles at me, finally noticing a giant beside Annie.

“Seokjin. Hey”, I say in a neutral voice.

I may not be interested in him anymore but he sure is hot. Dude looks like a freaking living sculpture, tall with broad shoulders, silky dyed hair and plump lips. I’d be insane if I didn’t have a crush on him, everyone falls for him at least once.

“It’s been a while since I last saw you here”, he tells me.

_I’m surprised you even noticed._

“She’s been busy reading books”, Annie shrugs as if it hurts even to say the words and Seokjin frowns at me.

“Yeah, I’ll leave you both to enjoy your illiterate lives and grab myself a drink.”

I leave before they start ganging up on me for the simple fact that I don’t want to fail my Literary Journalism exams.

I’ve been in this house before so I know my way to the kitchen, easily finding an opened bottle of cheap wine and a red cup. I fill it to the brim, spilling a bit on my hand, and walk slowly around the house.

The party probably started a couple hours ago. After I finished my recording and left the building, I went straight to my dorm, calling Annie until she picked up and yelled about us going out before hanging up. Still, it took me courage to get myself dressed to go out to a party in this cold weather.

I take a sip seeing familiar faces, nodding a few times and hugging some people from my classes.

I drink a whole cup and try to find Annie just to see she’s busy trying to hit on a girl twice her height.

I drink a second cup and get myself lost in the middle of the living room, full of people dancing to the guy pretending he’s a DJ.

I drink a third cup and feel my body getting warmer with the help of expert hands on my hips, my back pressed to someone’s chest.

I turn around to look at his face. I’ve seen him before; sharp nose, pretty lips with a tiny mole on top, red hair falling on his forehead and body easily following the reggaeton beats. He lets me go and smiles at me so beautifully I blink a few times to be sure it’s real. Slowly, the red haired gets lost in the crowd and I can’t see him anymore. Our little experience looking nothing more than another wet dream of mine.

I start to nudge the small mass of people inside the living room, trying to find my way out, until I hear the voice in my dreams loud and clear.

“How y’all deal with this dude?” he asks the crowd, taking the DJ’s microphone. Everyone around the house yells back at him, loud cheers and whistles. I’m definitely not the only one who listens to his broadcast.

“Okay, I will give you something better to scream for”, he laughs and I instantly look back.

I’ve never seen him smiling, it’s so cute. A tall guy with silver hair – who I’ve seen in the library before – extremely plump and pretty lips and slightly tanned skin, goes to the small DJ stage with Yoongi along with the red haired guy I was dancing with.

_What the hell is happening? Yoongi was here this whole time?_

The three of them are so different; Yoongi with a black t-shirt and ripped jeans; the red haired with baggy, stylish, light colored clothes; the tall guy wearing a long coat with Japanese like sketches of flowers, birds and old houses.

“Y’all know Yoongi. I’m Namjoon, this is Hoseok”, the tall guy points to the red haired. _“And this is Ddaeng”_, he completes with a smile.

When the beat starts flowing, completely different from anything I’ve ever listened to, everyone around the house tries to pile up in the living room. They all rap distinctly and, in the end, their voices and messages fit perfectly together.

They scoff and laugh, interacting with the crowd they gathered, it’s like they’re born to be on stage. I get entranced by Yoongi’s voice easily. I’ve heard some of his original songs being played on the broadcast before, but nothing like this. With Hoseok and Namjoon, he looks happier, more careless and cockier – if that’s even possible.

In my drunken state, I feel that this is the best thing I’ve ever listened to. To be honest, I’m sure I’ll think the same thing when I’m sober.

When they’re done, for my unhappiness, the whole party seems to be thinking the same as me, screams and cheers are so loud that I have to block my ears. My eyes are still focused on Yoongi, on his pretty smile, when I decide that I want him.

* * *

I gulp down any thoughts about my future me regretting this and follow Yoongi. I’m not sure where he’s heading, somewhere on the second floor, apparently. I climb the stairs after him, trying not to lose his figure out of my sight.

_I bet your ass looks good in these jeans so why the long t-shirt, Yoongi? Ugh._

“To keep perverts like you away from me”.

I stop on my feet, in the middle of the second floor hall, my hands shaking with adrenaline and pure fear.

_I SAID THAT OUT LOUD?_

“W-what?”

“You asked me why the long t-shirt and I said it’s to keep perverts like you away from me”, he turns around with a hand inside his front pocket. “Do I have to draw for you?”

“No. You can keep talking, though”.

Yoongi arches an eyebrow and I step closer to him. I try to read his expressions and intentions, but he’s a blank paper. Not giving away anything he doesn’t want to. _Not yet, at least._

“I like your voice”, I shrug, trying to make my statement less than it actually is.

“I gathered that much already”, he doesn’t come closer but also doesn’t flinch away when we’re finally face to face, thanks to my trembling legs. “Your friend talked to me a few minutes ago, what’s her name again?”

“Annie”, I say, already feeling my cheeks burn with anger.

“Wasn’t it Jessica?”

_Oh, shit._

“What? You thought I wouldn’t recognize her voice?”

I remain quiet, sensing all the resolution I gathered quickly leaving my body.

“She had a lot of questions for me, saying it was for the newspaper while there was nothing but a fucking vodka cup in her hand”, he scoffs. “Why the fuck would the newspaper need to know if I’m gay or not?”

God damn it, Annie. There’s no way I can get out of this with my dignity intact, most of the damage was done by Annie anyways, so I gotta move forward and hope for the best.

“Well, are you?”

Yoongi tongues the inside of his cheek, I watch his soft pink lip pout when he talks.

“Why the fuck do you need to know?” as much as his words are harsh, his voice is calm.

“I need to know if you’re worth my time, that’s all”, I reply.

It's not like I enjoy hitting on men that aren't bi or straight. I'm not an asshole, I don't want to make them go through that when they don't even like what I have. So I’m being straightforward again. There’s no in between with me, I guess. Now it’s done, all I need to know is if Yoongi will friendzone me or dismiss me. I don’t know what would be worse.

“You’re the one who should prove yourself to me.”

Huh?

“Aren’t you the one who fell for my voice without even seeing my face?”, he smirks, closing the remaining space between us, our faces so close that I can see the sparkles of dark brown in his irises. “You know I’m more than worth your time. You even dreamed about me. But I know nothing about you.”

“That’s not…”, I start to defend myself but Yoongi interrupts me. “Was that before or after you saw me? What was I doing to you?” he tilts his head so our eyes couldn’t be closer. “What did you wish I was doing to you right now?”

Fuck this.

I smash my mouth to his, everything but gentle. For a few seconds, Yoongi is like a statue, letting me kiss him like I want to. But his willingness wears out when I push my chest to his, sliding my hands up from his flat stomach to his neck. He grips my hips, walking me back and slamming me on the nearest wall. I gasp with the force and he deepens the kiss, slipping his tongue inside my mouth. His whole body is molded to mine. His right leg gets in between mine, spreading them. Yoongi angles his thigh upward until I’m almost grinding on it, I moan inside his mouth and he pulls back.

“Answer me”, his raspy voice demands. It’s much sexier than I imagined, hoarse with need.

“It was before I saw you”, I take a deep breath, still feeling his thigh smashed to my core. “I was lying down alone and hearing your voice.”

“Hmm”, he hums on my lips, licking my bottom one. “I asked you three questions.” Yoongi gently nips on my lip before sucking it on his mouth. It feels so good that I can only imagine how good it feels to have him between my legs. So I tell him that, “I wish you were putting your licking and sucking skills to better use.”

I see Yoongi’s eyes blown out, he takes a deep breath and licks the corner of his mouth.

“Are you here, Yoongi? Whoa, sorry guys”, I hear a familiar voice, Namjoon is standing at the end of the hall. “We have to go, our gig is in twenty minutes”, Namjoon says.

Yoongi moves away from me, I palm the wall to steady my trembling body.

“I’ll be down in a minute”, he replies, not even looking at Namjoon who goes back with a sigh. Yoongi is solely focused on me; my red cheeks and uneven breathing. “And you, give me your number”, he hands me his phone.

I type it down, saving my contact with my first name only, and give it back to him. “Pick up when I call you later, it’ll be your only chance”, he says sternly before looking me up and down – taking in my disheveled appearance – and leaving me on the empty hall.

* * *

I wake up already jumping from bed, the alarm didn’t ring, just had a feeling that I shouldn’t be sleeping. I check my phone; 10 a.m. and a missed phone call from a weird number. There’s also a text from the same number with _‘You lost your chance’_ written in it.

Oh shit.

Oh shit! No!

I text Yoongi back with a simple _‘I fell asleep, I’m so sorry’_ and a sad face. The hours go by, I read another chapter of my book, get lunch at the nearest cafeteria, call Annie to talk about yesterday – I had to take her to her room since she was too drunk to even remember where she lived – and no reply from Yoongi.

Only when Sunday morning arrives that I realize Yoongi won’t call or text me back. Is he that mad at me? Annie and I walk around campus, listening to his old broadcasts and trying to guess people’s majors by only looking at them.

Monday is rough since the beginning. I have morning classes, a fast lunch and more reading at the library. I leave to the station almost too late, open the radio app and put on my ear buds to listen to Yoongi. No signal of his voice, though, only a song being played after another one.

I get inside the radio silently, dropping my bag on the couch and eyeing the booth through the glass. Yoongi is lazily sitting down, reading something on his laptop, clearly bored. If he notices my presence, he doesn’t show it. I start to work on my script, still listening to his choice of songs.

_“Maybe I will answer another call tomorrow, if I’m feeling like it”_, he says as soon as the song is over. _“This was Suga’s Hip Hop Replay and, as always, thank you for listening.”_

I wait until he’s done with gathering his things in the booth, looking at him expectantly. Yoongi comes out and grabs his bag from the couch, putting on his black leather jacket. He’s wearing ripped jeans – I learned he likes them a lot – and a hoodie underneath.

“Don’t forget to turn off the lights”, he says quickly before leaving.

_What? That’s it?_

I follow him shortly after, going down the hall to see the building’s glass door being closed, his figure being engulfed by the outside darkness. I run after him, shoving the door open.

“Yoo…”, I stop mid sentence, my eyes adjusting to the lack of light, spotting a beautiful red haired leaning on the wall waiting for Yoongi. He’s in a red hoodie and black sweatpants, clearly just went through some exercising or physical activity.

“Hey, it’s you”, Hoseok says, a knowing smirk growing on his face, “from the party.”

Yoongi stands near us, his eyes glaring at me and Hoseok while he traps a cigarette between his lips.

“Yeah, hi”, I say a bit embarrassed. I remember having Hoseok’s hands all over me, his body molding to mine when we were dancing, his hips expertly moving us both.

“I couldn’t find you after we performed. Did you see me? You did, right?”, he smiles beautifully, taking a step closer. “Did you like it?”

I look at Yoongi, he’s lighting the cigarette, not even caring about our conversation.

“Yes, of course. Y’all are so amazing, it was sick. Did you write your part?”, I ask sincerely, even though I’m seeing Yoongi with the corner of my eyes. His attention finally comes back to us, releasing a huff of smoke.

“We all did. You can’t rap what’s not yours. It wouldn’t be truthful to your music, you know”, Hoseok replies, dimples showing up when he smacks his lips together in a fine line.

“What do you want?”, Yoongi asks suddenly. I drift my eyes to him, white smoke coming out of his mouth, gaze on me like a hawk’s eye.

“Can we talk? About… about Friday?”, I hope that Yoongi can follow me back inside for a bit, gesturing my head to the door which he ignores.

“It was your only chance, I told you”, Yoongi simply says. I look at Hoseok, he’s smiling slightly, like he’s starting to understand what’s going on. Why can’t Yoongi talk to me alone?

“Isn’t that a bit mean? I was a little drunk and fell asleep fast”, I laugh humorless. Yoongi gets closer to me, blocking my view of Hoseok.

“Well, if you want it that much, Hoseok is free tonight. Right, Hobi?”, he spares his friend a glance before turning back to me, his head cocked to the side.

“Yeah but I’m no one’s replacement, dude”, Hoseok scoffs.

Yoongi shrugs, raises both his eyebrows and takes a few steps back, with an air of I tried, like setting me up with Hoseok was him doing me a favor. Both of them stand side by side, glancing at me with different looks on their faces; Yoongi flashes a bit of anger in his eyes while Hoseok is just amused with the scene in front of him.

“Whatever, no dick is worth this shit”, I say before turning around, opening the building’s door and getting in again. I can still save some of my dignity after all.

I barely take a step inside before feeling something gripping my wrist, my back gets slammed on the wall just to be faced with Yoongi. He traps both my arms on my sides. I use my hips to push him away but he shoves me back with his own hips instead, making me gasp with the feeling.

“You should have picked up that damn phone”, he hisses at me before licking my top lip. I poke my tongue out to meet his and he licks it softly. “So stop whining.”

Yoongi sucks on my bottom lip before kissing me in a bruising manner, abusing my lips with his teeth. I want to touch him but he won’t let me go, surprisingly stronger than his stature gives off. He finishes the kiss with a nip on my lip, freeing me completely.

“Didn’t I already tell you I’m more than worth your time?”, Yoongi says. He opens the glass door, leaving in the cold night. I watch as he takes the cigarette out of Hoseok’s lips – where he probably left before coming after me – and they both walk away, Yoongi glancing back at me once with a smirk.

_Damn, maybe his dick is worth all of this._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's getting harder and harder to work at the radio station with Yoongi. The boy knows how to tease and my mind is finally going insane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some s fucking mut! 
> 
> (ps. i'm so mad at the fact that i wrote "slacks" instead of "sweats" on the last chapter that i'm writing this down here... but now it's fixed)

To work at the radio station is now my biggest challenge. Turns out that Yoongi knows how to tease me so damn good that I go back to my dorm with a mind full of filthy scenarios and ruined panties. He knows I listen to him everyday, he knows I watch him through the glass instead of working on my script, he knows I like his voice and I suspect that he also knows I like his hands.

  
And he makes everything so much harder.

  
The sexy songs he plays, the deep voice talking about suggestive subjects, the way his eyes meet mine just to be sure I’m seeing him licking the corner of his mouth. He tongues the inside of his cheek, he holds his face on his palm and lets his finger caress his soft lips, he spreads his legs on the chair and makes himself comfortable smirking at me.

  
Then he leaves like nothing happened.

  
It’s too much.

  
Three days go by like this. On Friday, I’m going insane. Can’t concentrate on my book, Annie keeps on bringing me coffee like it’s going to help but it just gets worse. She ends up bringing me tea. “Stop going out and coming back, there’s nothing you can bring me that will help, Annie”, I whisper. We’re in the middle of a class and she has left three times already, seems like she’s the one on the verge of an attack and not me.

  
“You have the deepest dark circles right now, I’m concerned. Are you even sleeping?”, she asks me.

  
_Sleep?_ Oh, yes of course. I sleep only to be woken in the middle of the night with shreds of the filthy dream I had still lingering in my mind. Then I just can’t fall asleep anymore, my imagination weaving scenarios with my dreams of Yoongi, practically creating a whole porn movie.

  
“You both stay in that radio station alone for hours, literally no one else goes in there. Why don’t you fucking blow him already?”, she asks again after seeing me getting lost in my own depraved thoughts.

  
“You can’t just blow someone like that, Annie. He must consent first”, I explain, trying to keep my voice low since I’m sure my professor wouldn’t enjoy knowing the topic of our whispering.

  
“He kissed you twice. No, he fucking smashed you on the wall twice! That’s a signal, isn’t it?”

Our classmates look back at us, clearly we’re not being discreet enough. “Just shut up. We’ll talk about this later.”

  
As soon as everyone’s attention is back at the professor lecturing something that, in all honesty, I couldn’t care less right now, Annie leans back on me. “Look, Yoongi is toying with you, he’s a player. You have to play his game and not let him win all the time”, she whispers. “You’re hot too, so do your best, girl.”

* * *

  
I go back to my dorm after the class is over and change my clothes. _Annie is right, for once_. I get out of my skinny jeans and put on black thigh high socks, pairing up with a crimson little skirt and finishing off with a fake white fur jacket. Okay, this is better than the usual hoodie/jeans I usually wear.

  
I don’t have a plan and it’s not like I’m that good with this teasing thing. I’ll have to go with the flow and hope for the best, as always. I get to the station before Yoongi, sitting on the chair inside the booth and setting up my laptop. I have to record a few lines where my voice didn’t sound that good. I’m in the middle of a phrase – recording it for the third time already because I always make the same mistake – when I hear the door being opened.

“What are you doing here? Get out. I have to start the broadcast.”

  
“God damn it, Yoongi”, I say angrily, turning around and throwing the headset on the table. “Couldn’t you let me finish? I still have a few minutes!”

  
Truly, _God damn it._ Yoongi is wearing tight jeans with a black shirt that, miraculously, isn’t big, it fits his chest perfectly. He’s holding a long black coat on his arm along with his usual bag.

  
“No. You record after me, that’s the agreement”, he gets in and closes the door loudly after him.

  
“What? I never agreed to this”, I get up exasperated. That particular phrase is so difficult and when I finally get it right, he decides to get in.

  
“I don’t care. Just get out”, Yoongi’s eyes roam around my body, he slowly inspects every inch of it, from my legs to my face. _Is he really checking me out right now? _When we lock eyes, I want to jump on him.

  
“No, you get out or I’ll shut you up. Let me finish this and then you can start your little show”, I say closing my fists, anger and arousal cursing through me. I sit back on the chair, facing away from him so I can focus.

  
Surprisingly, Yoongi remains quiet while I quickly finish my recording, my voice certainly sounding more apprehensive than before. I close my laptop and gather my stuff, getting up to face him again. His eyes are burning me, he also looks ready to jump on me, I just don’t know what for.

  
“Done?”, he asks. I nod in agreement, walking towards the door, but he gets in my way, blocking my so needed freedom from this confined space with him.

  
“Next time you talk to me like that, you better back up your words”, Yoongi murmurs, his voice sounding nothing more than my biggest kink. “Aren’t you the one who listens to my little show everyday?”

  
I take a deep breath, staring at his chest because my scared ass can’t bear to keep his gaze.

  
“You interrupted me. You should have some respect for my work too”, I try to sound convincing, but I wasn’t blessed with a deliciously deep voice like Yoongi, so I doubt my words are as impressive as his.

  
Yoongi grips my chin, tilting my head upwards so I’m looking straight into his eyes. “Good thing your work uses only your voice because your face looks horrible, looks like you’re awake for two days.”

  
I’m so beyond mad right now that I slap his hand away from my face. Yoongi steps back after my little display of anger. “Don’t you have to start your broadcast?”

  
I pass through him and close the door behind me, sighing loudly as I can finally breathe without Yoongi all over me. I ponder if I should leave, but I still have some other things to record and I don’t want to let Yoongi get under my skin. I end up sitting on the couch, connecting my phone to the radio station and putting on my ear buds. Listening to his voice is, after all, the fastest way to relax me. 

  
Yoongi starts the broadcast as he always does, talking about the new song he just played, making me shiver while I watch his hands working on the buttons. _“Okay, I’ll pick up a phone call now and I hope that…”_, as soon as I hear that, I disconnect the app and start typing the number I already know by heart. I thought about calling him a few times before, but never did.

  
Tonight, though, after all that happened, I need a bit of fun. _“You’re on air so watch your mouth. What’s your name?”_, I hear Yoongi’s voice though my ear buds.

  
“I want to be anonymous. It’s a complicated matter”, I reply, holding back a giggle. Yoongi pauses, his eyes drifting away from the laptop’s screen and finding me. He frowns, cocking his head to the side like it’s going to help him read my intentions. _“Okay, anonymous girl. What do you want?”_

  
“I’m into a guy that I want to punch as much as I want to…”, I let my voice evaporate slowly and watch as Yoongi shifts in his chair. “He’s so mean to me. I lost one phone call and now he ignores me. He’s such a tease too, kissing me just to leave me wanting more.”

  
Yoongi licks the corner of his mouth, a habit of his that I learned to love and enjoy. “I’ve been dreaming about him for the past days, I can’t even sleep anymore.”

  
_“And?”_, he raises an eyebrow, defying me. “And I don’t know what to do. What should I do, Yoongi?”, my last words are whiny, hoping it will get under his skin like he does to me. And I know I hit the jackpot when he shifts uncomfortably in his chair, tonguing the inside of his cheek, looking at me with a hunger that I know I have in my eyes as well. He shakes his head and practically smashes a button, gifting me with a beep noise.

He hung up on me.

  
“Well, looks like she lost signal”, I have to read his mouth lying bluntly since I’m not connected to the broadcast anymore. He takes off his headset and leaves the radio booth, watching me intensely as he comes closer.

  
“I’m sorry, I was just joking…”, I get up to try to reason with him, he looks ready to kill me.

  
“Shut up”, Yoongi shoves me on the couch again, pushing me with his hand on my stomach and making me lie down on my back. “We have four minutes before the song ends.”

  
My skirt rode all the way up, almost exposing my panties, and he takes advantage of that, palming my thighs and spreading my legs to nudge between them. I lose my breath when I feel his body caging mine, my hands instantly flying to his hips. “Four minutes for what?”, I manage to say.

  
Yoongi bites the skin of my neck, pulling it between his teeth and sucking it in his mouth. I release a small moan before I can stop myself. “To get you off”, he explains.

  
I close my eyes, sighing with relieve._ Finally._ I need him since the minute he walked inside the radio booth. Doesn’t even matter if he disturbed my recording, seeing him with these jeans already got me worked up.

  
Yoongi travels his hand around my thighs, caressing me over the thigh high socks until he gets tired of it, pushing it down to my knees. He glides his fingertips up to my covered core. I gasp when I feel him pushing the fabric aside, sliding a finger inside me without warning. “How can you get this wet when I barely touched you”, he hums with his face buried in my neck.

  
“You’ve been testing my resistance for days now”, I whisper back. Yoongi chuckles and supports himself on his elbow, looking me in the eye. He pushes another finger in me, sliding them inside and outside slowly. I pant as I watch his pale veiny hands between my legs, his long fingers coming out of me glistened. I’ve been dreaming about this since way before I met him but no fantasy matches the real thing. He speeds up, curling his fingers and easily finding that particular spot that makes me arch my back off the couch. I wish he’d kiss me, but he keeps watching me carefully.

  
“What’s up with your obsession with me though?”, he asks, pulling his fingers out just to glide them up, circling my sensitive nub. I can barely speak, my mouth dry with all the panting and moaning, let alone fully understand his words for me. “I… W-what? Stop being so full of yourself”, I say whatever my mind can think of, too focused on the feeling of his wet fingertips on my clit.

  
Yoongi stops moving. My eyes snap open, sensing the orgasm ebbing away. “You should be more careful with what you say when I have you all sprawled out and dripping wet”, he shoves two fingers in me again, curling them unceremoniously. I roll my eyes in the back of my head, clawing the couch and tightly gripping at his shirt. My mouth is a perfect O and he tongues his way in, kissing me feverishly while his fingers ride me through my hardest climax.

  
One wave after another, Yoongi abuses the most sensitive spot inside me with his thumb on my clit, it feels like it’ll never end. I cry out with the sensation, my mouth still smashed on his, holding his wrists and silently begging him to stop. He ceases his assault and moves away from me, our lips making a lewd sound with that.

  
His fingers are coated with my fluids. I start to think Yoongi will clean them somewhere, but he pushes them inside his own mouth, making me watch the scene with him between my legs still spread open. I see his hard on completely noticeable inside the tight jeans and clench around nothing, releasing a small whine. “And you still ask why I’m obsessed”, I say softly.

  
Yoongi smirks after sucking his fingers clean. He looks at me one more time, probably saving the image of my disheveled figure in his mind, and gets off the couch. “Hey, don’t you want help with that?”, I may be satisfied, for now, but I’m not mean and Yoongi definitely deserves a release too. But he doesn’t even look back, just replies with; “No. Leave so I can finish this broadcast in peace”, and gets inside the booth again.

I gather my things, sparing some glances at Yoongi. He returned to his normal self; controlled, calm and put together – quite different from me now – but the image of him smirking at me is engraved in my mind. It will haunt me in my dreams, I’m sure.

* * *

  
  
“So you’re here too”, a familiar voice says close to me. Hoseok stands by my side at the kitchen counter as I watch Annie dancing with a short girl – even shorter than her, if that’s possible – in the living room.

  
“Nice to see you, Hoseok”, I reply nodding.

  
The party is going for a couple hours already and Annie is here since the beginning, but I had to finish recording the things I didn’t yesterday – blame my little thing with Yoongi – so I arrived later. I’m pretty sure I’m the only sober person in here.

  
“Yeah… about Yoongi”, he starts and I turn my head, looking at his beautiful face, “I heard your call for him yesterday.”

  
I blush instantly, I didn’t think anyone but Annie would recognize my voice and she almost never listens to Yoongi’s broadcast. “You did?”, I ask knowing there’s no way I can get off the hook. _I’ll just let him make some jokes and move on with it, it’s not a big deal, I’ve dealt with worse embarrassment._

  
“I did”, he grins and supports himself on the counter, “it was a bit low, don’t you think? You begging him like that?” Hoseok’s brown eyes are glued to mine, seeing every hue of red on my cheeks. “Yoongi acts tough but he’s not that strong. Was he hard on you later?”

  
I feel the air leaving my lungs. _This conversation didn’t go the way I saw it going._ I thought Hoseok would make fun of me but here he is, scrutinizing my face with a lazy, sinful smile on his face. “What do you mean? He didn’t beat me up, if that’s what you’re asking”, I fake laugh and look away.

  
“That’s not what I’m asking”, he steps closer, our shoulders touching.

  
“Is he here?”, I ask as I see Namjoon walking around the house. If all his friends, that I know of, are here, then he might be too. Hoseok catches my eyes frantically looking for his friend and sighs, “Yes, he’s here.”

  
I can’t ignore the fact that Hoseok is hot. It’s something quite obvious, his body is hot, his face is hot, his attitude is hot, the way he dances is hot. But, somehow, I don’t feel as interested as I know I would be normally. So, when he steps away from me and leaves, I let him go.

_I do want attention, just not from him._

  
I ponder if I should drink or not but, for once, I want to be fully sober. If Yoongi is here, I don’t want to end up saying or doing something stupid. I don’t want to force him to be with me out of pity, which is a thing I thought a lot about before falling asleep last night. That whole scene of him pushing me down and fingering me was hot at the moment, but when I cooled down and actually thought about it, _what the fuck did I do?_ It was so fast – in my defense, he did work me up for days before that – and then he didn’t even want me to touch him, telling me to leave immediately. Maybe I should really stop thinking about this dude.

  
With him, it’s not easy. It’s not either fuck or ignore because he does both. Seokjin? He’s clearly the ignore option, way out of my league and didn’t even spare me glance back then. Hoseok? Well, he’s also out of my league, to be honest, but at least it seems like I’d know how to deal with him.

  
Yoongi is not that easy. He never showed any interest in me, but then again he did shove me on a wall and kissed me hard. I don’t pick up a damn phone call and he won’t even look at me, but then he’ll finger me during his broadcast’s break. And then tells me to leave! _How do I deal with a guy like this?_

  
_Go for a safer option._ Although, I’m not drunk enough to have the balls to go after Hoseok, I do wonder if I should. _Maybe another guy? One who’s not friends with Yoongi, you dumbass_, my sober mind advises me. Yes, that’s better. I push myself off the counter and my hips are slammed back in place, trapped between the edge of the marble and someone. “Where are you going?”

  
I freeze in place, my body instantly responding to Yoongi’s voice. So many hours of listening to his show and dreaming about him made my whole self, on a spiritual level, trained to comply. “There you are”, I say still without seeing him.

  
“Were you looking for me?”, he murmurs in my ear.

  
“Not actually”, I push my hips back, knowing it would hit directly on his crotch. “But Hoseok was kind enough to let me know you were here.”

  
I hear Yoongi hissing at my move, his hands flying to grab my waist, keeping me in place. “Sure he was”, he says lazily. I look back, finally glancing at him. His shiny hair is tousled, he wears a black hoodie with tight ass jeans that I love so much, and his eyes are staring down at my ass glued to his crotch.

  
I do the same movement, pushing him back, and he snaps his head back up. “What are you trying to achieve with this?”, he says, staring at me with killer eyes.

  
Yoongi is horny. If I couldn’t feel his growing length on my ass cheek, his blown out pupils and tight grip on my waist would tell me that. He just saw me though, how the fuck is he horny already?

  
_God damn it!_ It’s obviously not because of me.

  
“I’m trying to get you off of me”, I say with an eye roll, slapping his hands away from me. I can be many things but, just like Hoseok, I’m no one’s replacement.

  
Yoongi instantly backs away, his eyes widen with the shock of having me denying him so bluntly after all the hints I gave him. But he’s respectful, giving me space as soon as I don’t show interest – or pretend not to.

  
“Thank you”, I say before leaving the kitchen. My chest hurts with the decision, but my nether parts hurt even more knowing they won‘t get Yoongi’s so delicious attention like they did last night. _Get a hold of yourself, girl!_

* * *

  
I regret. Oh God, I regret. This is insane. It must be that time of the month – no, not the actual bloody days, I’m referring to the days where my hormones are trying to make me fuck any person over 21 years old who’s not my relative. _No, that’s not it._ I mean, it might be my hormones a bit, but it’s Yoongi’s fault the most.

  
I lie down on my bed with my eyes wide open, Annie snorting by my side – because she lost the key to her dorm – and my mind working on the events of earlier this night. Yoongi kept roaming around the party for a few minutes before leaving, he didn’t look at me again.

  
At first, I felt good about myself. _I did the right thing,_ I thought. I shouldn’t be some substitute for whoever gave Yoongi that half boner. But remembering his dark eyes on my ass and the pale veiny hands keeping me in place certainly had its effect on me.

  
I get my phone and text him before I can stop myself – even though I don’t think I could.

  
_ r u awake? _

  
Fifteen minutes after me getting up, walking around the room, sighing deeply, he replies a simple question mark.

  
_where do u live?_, I send him.

  
_why?_, he replies shortly after.

  
I sit down on the cold floor. I wish Annie was awake, she would stop me from doing this. Right? Nah, she wouldn’t.

  
_cause I need you now_, I text him hopeful.

  
I wait ten more minutes before receiving a location. _Okay. I’m doing this_. I whisper goodbye at Annie, knowing she won’t wake up before 11 a.m., and leave with only a long coat and an oversized shirt underneath. The Uber arrives at his place in less than five minutes – a short amount of time that I could just walk if it wasn’t freezing outside. Yoongi lives in a nice, common building. I text him to say I arrived and he opens the automatic door. I stand inside the elevator with trembling legs, should have worn some pants. I knock twice and wait. Yoongi opens the door and greets me with tired eyes and messy hair.

  
“Were you sleeping?”, I ask concerned.

  
“Yeah”, he says and opens the door wider, a silent invitation for me to get in.

  
“Why didn’t you tell me? I wouldn’t have come”, I say as I look around his small apartment. It’s clean, kitchen and living room with black, white and grey furniture, nothing much.

  
“You woke me up.”

  
I look back at him, he’s wearing black sweats and a simple white t-shirt. “With one text?”, I ask skeptic.

  
He shrugs and leans on the wall, crossing both arms over his chest to look me up and down. I must look ridiculous with a long coat and Ugg boots. “What do you need me for?”

  
Of course he will make me work for it. He obviously knows what I meant with that text. _How could he not?_ But I’m not in the mood for his little games, not when I get humiliated every time. So I simply take off my coat, putting it on the small countertop. I step closer to Yoongi, removing my boots on the way, and stand in front of him with the oversized shirt.

  
“Why were you horny earlier?”, I ask lowly. He arches an eyebrow and licks the corner of his mouth. I drop my eyes to my bare feet on his carpeted floor.

  
“I was thinking about yesterday, the way you were dripping on my fingers”, his voice is so deep and controlled that I feel a shiver running through me.

  
“So it was because of me?”, I look up at him. Yoongi is not much taller than me, but without shoes and with his dominating aura he looks insanely big.

  
“Yeah, dumbass”, he shakes his head and uncrosses his arms, dropping them to his sides. “You’re so irritating, calling me live to complain about being needy and when I give you attention you shove me off”, he runs his fingers through his silky black hair and tongues his cheek.

  
“I thought you were with someone else before meeting me at the party”, I explain already feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I reach to him, gripping the hem of his shirt, looking down like a girl who was caught stealing candy, “I’m sorry.”

Yoongi takes a deep breath and lifts my chin with his cold finger, “You’re so lucky”, he takes a step closer. “You’re lucky I’ve been thinking about how warm you felt, how delicious you tasted.”

  
My knees start to buckle with his deep voice, my eyes get glossy and lips suddenly become dry.

  
“You’re lucky I can’t take the image of you cumming around my fingers out of my mind”, Yoongi drops his hand from my chin but his eyes won’t let me look away. “You’re lucky I need to fuck you. Otherwise, I’d leave you whiny and needy for me again.”

  
My breath is shallow, completely wrecked by his crude words when he’s not even touching me yet. I feel my panties sticking to my core, the need is so strong that I’d crawl on my knees and bark if Yoongi told me to.

  
“Fuck me then”, I whisper with what’s left of my courage.

  
Yoongi scoffs and looks up, licking his lips and running his fingers through the messy hair again. “You little bitch”, he grunts. I gulp down the automatic moan that tries to find its way out of my throat, but Yoongi catches the way I shift to rub my thighs together.

  
He grabs the hem of my shirt, like I did with his earlier, and drags me inside what I guess it’s his room. I stumble on my own foot trying to follow him, but I fall face down on his soft mattress. Before I can get up or turn around, Yoongi traps me in this position, climbing on the bed and sitting on top of my thighs.

  
“Yoongi”, I whine, throwing my hands back to try to fight out of this. He grabs both of my wrists and pins them on my lower back. “And you say I’m irritating”, I mumble with my cheek pressed against the mattress.

  
“You’ll thank me when we’re done”, he pecks my shoulder and delivers a loud smack on my ass before letting me go. I turn around and don’t waste time circling my arms around his neck, bringing him down to me.

  
Yoongi is right; I am lucky. He kisses me so hungrily that I run out of breath. Trailing his lips down my body, he pulls my shirt up to expose my braless chest and ruined panties. I lift my hips so he can take them off and he spreads my legs open. I look up to the ceiling, getting ready for whatever he’s going to do, but still it’s not enough to prepare me for his tongue exploring between my folds. I buck my hips when he sucks my clit and he pushes me down again, pinning me in place.

  
I’m more than lucky; I’m blessed. Yoongi is so good at this that I’m afraid my nails gripping his sheets are going to make holes. His eyes are piercing me, making me lose my mind in minutes. He releases my clit with an obscene pop and I follow him with my hips, whining without my so needed climax. Yoongi climbs on top of me again, his fully clothed body caging mine under him. I roll my hips up and close my eyes with the instant satisfaction of having the fabric of his pants rubbing against my swollen clit. “If you do that again, I won’t let you cum tonight”, he warns me with a dangerous voice. I stay still, my body shaking with the effort of not moving when he’s so close and looking so good.

  
“But I need to”, I whimper. Yoongi chuckles and sticks his tongue inside my mouth. I can taste myself and that’s not even a complaint.

  
“I know, greedy little bitch”, he grunts on my lips. “I made you cum yesterday and look at you dripping down for me again”, Yoongi rolls his hips against mine, his clothed length rubbing me viciously. I follow his movements and he backs away from my mouth, stopping instantly. “What did I tell you?”

  
I whisper softly saying sorry, slipping my hands under his shirt and caressing his smooth skin. His blown out eyes look down at me, watching how my hand disappears inside his sweats, sneaking in his underwear to grip his hard on. He hisses and hides his face in my neck, groaning when I start to stroke him slowly.

  
“I dreamed about you the first time when I listened to your past broadcasts for a whole day”, I nip on his shoulder while I talk to him, feeling his member twitch in my hand. “I dreamed you were telling me what to do, bossing me with that deep ass voice of yours.”

  
I slide my thumb over his sensitive tip and he responds by biting my neck in a warning manner. “And this past week I lost my sleep because of you. Your voice is so hot but everything else about you is so much hotter”, I practically moan, remembering the way he’s been teasing me.

  
Yoongi supports himself on his elbows to look at me again, his lips are pink and plump, eyes hooded and breath shallow – very much like me. “I’m already so tired of needing you this much”, I stroke him one last time and peck his lips. “I think about your cock and I didn’t even see it yet.”

  
That’s enough for Yoongi. He’s shoves my hand away from his sweats and gets up from bed. I’m all exposed to him, clit throbbing for attention, while he steps out of his clothes, my eyes hazed with desire, taking a deep breath to keep my hands by my sides. Yoongi hides his form under the big t-shirts, but his body is so well proportioned and hot. I see the muscles of his thighs moving when he gets rid of the boxers.

  
“What are you thinking now?”, he asks climbing the bed again, kneeling between my open legs.

  
“That I want to ride you.”

  
“Are you on the pill?”, Yoongi slides his hand from my ankles to my inner thighs, goosebumps rising on my skin. He caresses my needy clit with his thumb softly before traveling to my breasts, pinching both of my nipples.

  
“Yes”, I lift my hips to meet his erection standing proud, my patience wearing thin since the beginning. Yoongi chuckles with my neediness, “Alright.”

  
I immediately get up and straddle his lap as soon as he sits near the pillows. He circles his arms around my waist, pulling me close until I feel my core against his flat stomach. I start to grind on him shamelessly, getting his skin all wet. “You’re going to ride me until I cum. Understood?”, he stops my movements and, once again, I get shocked at how much stronger than me he is.

  
“I asked you something”, Yoongi slaps my ass making me flinch in his hold.

  
“Yes! God, yes”, I reply quickly.

  
One hand finds its way into my hair, gripping my roots to keep my eyes trained on his, while the other is on my waist. “Ride me then, little bitch”, he orders.

  
With trembling hands, I grip his neglected cock, feeling it so heavy and big in my hand, and sink down on it slowly. Even after Yoongi got me dripping down my thighs, it’s a tight fit, and I take my time rolling my hips to get used to the feeling of being so full. It’s been a while since I was in bed with someone, but Yoongi didn’t seem to mind. “Faster”, he orders, shoving me down and making me take his last inches.

  
“D-don’t be an asshole”, I manage to say, breathing shakily.

“You wanted to be a big girl and ride me, so do it”, Yoongi helps me to slide up and down his length, bringing my face close to his.

“Well, it’s not my fault you have a fat cock”, I reply with a malicious smile, starting to bounce on him faster.

“And my little bitch has a tight pussy”, Yoongi grunts at me and thrusts upwards to meet me halfway, my head falling on his shoulder with the pleasure of his filthy words combined with my fast pace.

  
  
_My little bitch_, the words echo in my mind, making me clench around him. “Yoongi”, I moan his name, asking for what I don’t even know. Yoongi sucks the skin of my neck, trailing love bites up to my jaw, kissing my lips and claiming my whimpers. His hands do most of the job, I feel weak in the legs, completely worn out because of his lewd voice. He lifts me until there’s nothing but his tip inside and slams me back down. Our essences mixed are dripping down his thighs.

  
I mold our bodies together, my breasts pressed against his chest, my face buried in the crook of his neck. As I feel him fastening our pace, I cum without warning. Trembling on his lap, my walls clench him so tightly that I lift myself off of him. “Where do you think you’re going?”, Yoongi’s voice is deep, guttural, and I get lost in it before being slammed down again.

  
“Fuck! Yoongi!”, I cry out with the intense feeling, tears prickling in the corner of my eyes. “You’re too thick, I’m swollen now”, I complain, trying to get out of his grasp.

  
“I told you to ride me until I cum, you better not stop now, little bitch”, Yoongi looks me in the eye, moving a strand of hair away from my sweaty face. The gesture is sweet, so different from his next words; “Fuck yourself on me.”

  
_Oh, fuck_. I can barely fit him inside me, but I start moving again, whimpering with the overstimulation. I’m wetter after my release and still it’s not easy; I feel every ridge of his cock dragging on my walls and so does Yoongi. His hooded eyes watch me silently. _God, he’s so sexy._ Some of his raven black hair sticks to his forehead, his pale skin is glowing with the sweat and he grunts my name lowly, meant for my ears only.

  
I feel my walls clench around him again, ready for another release I didn’t know I had in me, but my legs start to give out. “Yoongi, I can’t. Please”, I beg him with the tiniest voice I have, trying to get under his skin.

  
“You can never back up your words”, he complains before flipping us around without even slipping an inch out of me. I open my mouth to make a retort, but Yoongi starts to pound me so hard I have to bite my hand to muffle my scream.

  
I definitely should have let him fuck me. I wiggle in his grasp, the pleasure proving to be too much for me, and he keeps me in place with his hands on my hips. Making sure I’m receiving every punishing thrust. “Touch yourself”, he demands. My hand flies to my neglected clit obeying him immediately, I circle my nub and feel my walls clenching again.

  
“O-oh God, Yoongi I’m…”, my phrase gets lost in the air, my mouth hanging open with a silent scream as I cum again. I feel sprinkles of water on the surface of my skin, but I pay no mind. My ears are buzzing, my eyes completely lost in the back of my head. Two seconds later, I feel my insides getting filled, Yoongi releases a deep grunt of my name.

  
_Holy shit. Did I just squirt?_

  
He slumps down on me, his heavy breathing getting mixed with mine. I don’t think I ever felt this much pleasure in my whole life. All my sexual experiences together won’t equal this fuck. Ever.

  
Yoongi softly kisses my cheek and rolls off of me, lying down by my side.

  
“This is what would have happened if I picked up the phone?”, I frown in disbelief. _How stupid I was for not staying awake that night!_

  
“No. I’d just make you cum over the phone”, he responds. I look at him; he’s spent, eyes glued to the ceiling. “That’d be good too. But you could have fucked me in the bathroom of that house”, I whisper teasingly.

  
Yoongi looks back at me, studying my face and raking his eyes down to my abused body. “You made a mess”, he reaches to me and lets his fingertips travel my stomach, spreading the fluids on my skin. “No. You are a mess”, Yoongi corrects himself and gets up on his elbow.

  
I feel his touch on my wet skin, his gaze traveling from my body to face, and something in my heart aches. He’s showing affection. And the realization that I missed this hits me strong like a runaway train.

  
_You made me a mess, Yoongi._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been Yoongi for a while now. Back when I started to listen to his broadcasts, back when I dreamed about a boy without a face, when I laughed alone at his acid humor, when the company of his voice was the highlight of my day.
> 
> Fuck, it’s Yoongi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changed my schedule a bit so I could release this chapter faster. The ending is coming soon though, I'm sad, I liked this whole scenario :( Anyways, please comment if you like it, or dislike it, I love reading it. Thank you!

My heavy boots crush the dead leaves on the campus grass. I walk with my head low out of habit, the wind is not strong enough to make me go faster or hide myself inside my own clothes. It’s slowly becoming less cold. Saturday night, though, was windy. Yoongi was nice enough to offer his bed so I could spend the night but I ended up leaving, going back to the safety of my own bed – shared with Annie at that time.

Sunday was just me under the blankets, watching movies I didn’t even pay attention to, reading and rereading the same book pages, eating snacks that got lost in between my covers and receiving endless texts from friends inviting me to go camping.

Fuck camping. _Who has time for that nowadays?_

Annie does. She went with our group of friends and left me to think on my own. This is why I ended up trying to focus my mind on anything besides Yoongi.

Impossible task, though.

Some inner parts of me that I didn’t even know I had were aching. Yoongi really… reached new levels of my body structure that night. And I can’t even say I’m complaining, the whole experience itself was too good. But that also meant that my body hurt every time I moved, which reminded me of Yoongi; his deep voice, his hooded eyes, his filthy words, his veiny hands, his possessive behavior. _God, everything was so hot. _I can barely remember the drive back to my apartment, I don’t even remember if the Uber driver was a woman or a guy. My mind was, and still is, blank.

_Did he really fuck me brainless?_, I ask myself as I open the glass door. I take one step inside the building before feeling a hand grabbing my arm.

“Where’s this radio thing?”, the voice asks me nervously. I look back at a guy around my age, tall with pretty green eyes and black hair. He looks mad, really mad. His eyes search around me, behind me, trying to find any hint on where the radio station is.

“Why?”, I ask yanking my arm away from his grasp. He doesn’t even care, doesn’t even flinch.

“Where the fuck is that…”, he stops when he sees something behind me. It’s like when someone in great pain finally dies, except it’s just him finally finding whatever he was looking for.

I turn around to see Yoongi standing not too far from us, the radio door closing behind him loudly. “What do you want?”, he asks the weird guy with an annoyed look.

I can barely fully absorb the situation before the guy rushes forward. “Who did you tell about that night?”, he screams loud, pushing Yoongi on the chest. He is a few inches shorter than the dude but I get surprised seeing him pushing the guy’s hands away, “Don’t fucking touch me.”

Yoongi doesn’t look concerned like me, he’s rather bored and a bit annoyed, like he wishes he wasn’t looking at the dude’s face. In matter of seconds, I hear an ugly noise and Yoongi is scrunching his eyes in pain, his face already has a purple bruise blooming.

_Shit. The weird guy punched him in the face!_

Yoongi stumbles backwards, his back hitting the wall, and the guy shoves him on it again, delivering a punch before I can hold his closed fist with both hands. “Get the fuck away from him!”, I scream with anger.

_What the fuck is happening here?_

He doesn’t even look my way, just shakes his arm and throws me back, like he’s shooing a bug. He tries to punch Yoongi again but the shorter boy had enough, he hits the guy on the crotch area with his knee. _Another ugly sound._

_Why are fight sounds so ugly?_

“Why would I tell anyone about that? You think I’m proud of fucking a piece of shit like you?”, Yoongi hisses at the guy who’s falling to his knees with pain. _I guess hitting a guy on the balls is worse than hitting his face._

“Maybe you’re not that good at hiding it, have you ever thought of that?”, Yoongi spits blood at the floor near the guy and looks my way. I’m sure I look dumb right now; my eyes widen in shock and my hands shaking a bit with the adrenaline. “Get in”, Yoongi orders me.

I stand still, alternating between watching Yoongi and the guy finally getting up. _He’s crying. _The guy is so beautiful and broad, I’m sure he’s a quarterback for the university’s team, but I wouldn’t know for sure since I don’t give two fucks about sports and never watched a game.

Yoongi and I look at him while he slowly rises to his feet again, no longer holding his precious, and probably bruised, balls. “Yoongi…”, his voice sounds calm now, sad even.

“Just leave”, Yoongi interrupts him, shaking his head and crossing his arms. The guy stares at the radio hottie – _what a time to remember this nickname_ – and then at me, real tears running down his tanned skin. He looks so regretful that I’m almost asking if he’s okay. He leaves with rushed steps before I can even open my mouth.

“What was that…”, I start saying, seeing Yoongi ignoring me and getting inside the radio station, “… all about?”, I finish with an annoyed sigh.

I pick up the bag I mindlessly threw at the floor before trying to prevent another punch to Yoongi’s face, and enter the radio station. Yoongi is already sitting on the couch, head fallen back, eyes closed.

“Are you okay?”, I ask and sit on the other couch, giving him space to breathe. He ignores me again and takes a deep breath. I see a little cut on his bottom lip and a purple bruise on the top of his cheek.

“Did you hookup with him?”, I ask again.

“What did you hear me say?”, his voice is controlled. I don’t reply, trying to understand what’s inside his mind, and he opens his eyes, looking directly at me. He’s wearing a big white t-shirt with FG printed on the front, tight black jeans and black sneakers.

“That you fucked him”, I respond apprehensively.

“Then that’s what happened.”

_Oh. _That simple.

“It’s not easy for everyone to be who they are, I guess he wasn’t ready for people to know”, I explain out loud because, to be honest, I feel sorry for him.

“I didn’t tell anyone so that’s not my problem”, he shrugs and gets up from the couch.

“I know but it’s kinda sad.”

“I don’t care”, Yoongi grabs his coat and comes closer to get his bag beside me. I reach for his hand and my fingertips circle around his cold wrist.

“Yoongi”, I whisper, looking him straight in the eyes. I don’t know what I want to say, I don’t even know if I have anything to say, actually. So what comes out is, “Do you need help with those bruises? I can clean them for you.”

* * *

I sit on Yoongi’s bed, concentrated on the task in hand: sanitizing his little lip cut. And I’m enjoying it more than I should, he looks so pretty from up close. Both his palms are behind him, supporting his body, his eyes watch me while I work to spread ice on his cheek and clean his cut.

His phone rings for the third time and he ignores it again.

“You can pick up. I’m done now”, I say throwing the little piece of cotton in the trash bin.

“It’s him”, he says nonchalantly.

“Then you should talk to him.”

“Do you always try to stick your nose in other people’s business?”, he asks, sitting properly.

We sit side by side on the bed we shared couple days ago, my mind is so full of thoughts – not all of them related to sex, I swear – that I’m sure nothing I say will make sense to him. _Because nothing makes sense in my head too._

“If I care about them enough, yes.”

Yoongi nods mindlessly, his eyes not really focusing on me. “I’ll take a shower. You can stay if you want”, he says and gets in the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

I sit silently, hear the water flowing, hear his voice murmuring a song I don’t recognize. I wonder if I should leave, but Yoongi isn’t afraid to speak his mind, of that I’m sure. He’d tell me to fuck off as soon as he got tired of my company. _And he didn’t._

So I wait. I take off my boots and sit on his bed. He comes out twenty minutes later, wet hair, wearing grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt. Not even a bit surprised with me still lingering around. “Do you want to shower?”

“I think I have only an extra pair of panties in my bag though”, I say already rummaging through it.

“Why do you have underwear in your bag?”

“I’m a 21st century woman, Yoongi.”

Yoongi arches an eyebrow, standing in the middle of the room while drying his hair with a white towel and looking at me questioningly.

“Okay. I fucked a guy once, he cleaned himself with my underwear and I threw it away. Then I had to walk around the rest of the night without one so I started bringing another pair with me”, I explain in one go.

He frowns but I see a rare smile showing up on his face. “Get in and leave the door unlocked, I’ll take you a towel and clothes.”

I do as he says, stepping out of my clothes and quickly getting under the warm water.

_I have no idea what I’m doing._

Not the shower part, _I know how to take a fucking shower_. I mean Yoongi. Why am I here? I should have recorded a script and, instead, I left with him the second he allowed me to come over.

Now, I’m in his bathroom, hearing the door being opened and closed right after, and wondering _what the fuck happened tonight?_

I step out of the shower and inside the warm set of hoodie and sweats that Yoongi left me on top of the sink. When I leave the bathroom, I see him sitting behind his desk, in front of his laptop with a headset on. He’s fully concentrated on it, barely noticing my presence. I lie down on his soft bed and wait. And wait. And wait. I play on my phone, text Annie goodnight and wait a bit more before getting impatient.

“Yoongi.”

“Hmm?”

“Are you busy?”

“I’m gonna finish this track, just sleep there”, he quickly glances at me before going back to the screen.

_Cool._

I take off the sweatpants, because it’s impossible for me to sleep with that, and get under the warm blanket. I watch Yoongi working until I start to drift off to sleep. 

* * *

“Huh?”, I mumble when I feel something lying down beside me. I blink twice to get used to the light – or lack of it – until I see Yoongi getting under the blankets. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Of course it’s me, you’re in my bed”, he whispers.

“I forgot for a moment”, I explain.

He hums back at me. I turn around, lying on my side, and look at his face, his bruise is not looking that bad. “Are you okay?”, I ask for the second time this night.

“Yes”, Yoongi replies calmly, his eyes locked on mine.

We look at each other for a while, my mind lost in the fog of sleep, doubting this moment is real. I scoot closer to him until my knees are touching his hip and he rests his hand on my thigh.

Yoongi says my name and asks, lowly, “Why are you here?”

But I don’t know either, so I shake my head shyly. We spend a few more minutes staring in silence. The moonlight shining down on his pale skin makes him even prettier.

_Fuck, do I like him?_

I sneak my hand under the hem of his shirt and palm his flat stomach, feeling the lines of his faint abs, the sharpness of his hip bones, the shape of his belly button. Yoongi stiffs for a second, not expecting my action, but then his hand starts to massage my thigh, kneading the flesh and warming it up.

“That guy was twice your size and you still jumped on him”, Yoongi says suddenly.

“He’s not that big, come on”, I scoff.

_He was that big though._

Yoongi laughs lightly, no sound coming out of his mouth, just his chest moving. “You’re also shorter than him”, I graze my fingertips from his belly button to the elastic band of his sweats. “How did you top him anyways?”

I feel him tightening his grip on my thigh instantly. _Shit, why did I ask that?_ But he brings my leg around him, making me straddle his lap.

“The same way I topped you”, his voice is no longer soft, it has a vicious undertone to it.

“But I was on top,” as soon as I say this, Yoongi shifts us around, trapping me under his body.

“And then begged me to fuck you because you couldn’t do it by yourself”, he leans on me, grazing his lips on mine. My bare legs feel the soft fabric of his pants that do nothing to hide his growing boner on my core.

“Would you do it now if I begged you again?”, I whisper. Yoongi smiles – a real smile where I can see his pretty teeth – and supports himself on his elbows. “I don’t think I ever met anyone with a sex drive this high. Are you gonna be on your period or something?”

“What a way to kill the mood”, I roll my eyes.

I hear Yoongi chuckling and whispering a breathy “As if”, then I feel his tongue on my lips. He kisses me slowly, exploring my mouth, and grips the back of my thighs, circling them around his waist. As soon as his body is fully glued to mine, his hands find their way up and under me, successfully smashing me against him, until both are gripping the roots of my hair. I’m out of breath, Yoongi kisses me so passionately that I wonder if this is how people in the movies feel like.

_Has kissing ever been this good? _

No, it’s Yoongi. It’s the way his tongue dominates mine expertly, the way his big hands run through my body like they know every inch of me, the way my heart beats fast when his eyes meet mine, the way I melt when I hear his deep voice close to my ear.

It’s been Yoongi for a while now. Back when I started to listen to his broadcasts, back when I dreamed about a boy without a face, when I laughed alone at his acid humor, when the company of his voice was the highlight of my day.

_Fuck, it’s Yoongi._

Gripping his jawline, I kiss him back feverishly, wanting more from the owner of the constant voice in my mind. Yoongi takes my hand and pins it down on my side, doing the same with the other one. I try to free my hands, but he keeps me trapped. I bite his bottom lip softly and he pulls away, watching his skin slowly sliding between my teeth. I’m eyeing him with wild eyes and breathing hard while he looks down at me.

“Say it”, he orders in a husky voice.

_I like you._

“Say what?”

_I like you, Yoongi. _

“Beg me.”

_Oh. That. _

“I like you.”

Yoongi freezes on top of me, his hands loosen their grip on my wrists and he blinks once.

_Holy shit, did I just say that out loud? _ _Why do I always do that?_

“Uh. Sorry”, I whisper, slipping out of the bed.

_Damn it!_

I get the sweatpants I took off earlier and put them on again, seeing Yoongi moving and sitting on the edge of the bed. He runs his fingers through his hair and sighs deeply.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that now”, I explain, standing some feet away from him.

“It’s okay”, his voice has the usual coldness to it.

“I’m gonna… go back.”

Yoongi doesn’t respond to me anymore, his eyes don’t find mine either. I glance at him one last time, feeling my heart ache in ways I didn’t know it was possible. _Why the fuck did I say that?_, I ask myself as I run down the stairs of his building.

The answer is simple, though. I like him. _So why wouldn’t I tell him?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished 2/3 of the next chapter, I will be posting it soon 😚🥰


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I like him, but it’s not love yet, I guess. It’s something in between, something that makes me jealous when I hear him laughing amusedly at someone blatantly flirting with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took me this long to finally update, I had too much going on at uni. There's a Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell reference just because... Also, the last part was obviously inspired by There for you by Troye Sivan, maybe listen to that to get in the mood that reader was in? Anyways, enjoy and please let me know what to think in the comments, thank you!
> 
> (ps. i edited this really poorly so it could be out by tonight, but i'll be revising tomorrow so i'm sorry for any mistakes)

I still listen to his broadcasts for the next three days, until he picks up a call and a person asks him out. That’s when I decide I shouldn’t be feeding my own… obsession? No, that’s not it. I like him, but it’s not love yet, I guess. It’s something in between, something that makes me jealous when I hear him laughing amusedly at someone blatantly flirting with him.

I also don’t show up at the radio station earlier like I used to. Yoongi was polite enough to say hi the day after “the incident” – as I call that night – but it stopped there, he didn’t tease me anymore. He barely looked my way, actually. So I stopped arriving earlier and we didn’t see each other anymore. Yoongi’s silent rejection was enough to make me back away completely.

I fucked it up, I know I did. I rushed things; I let my big mouth get the best of me and told him something that he, clearly, wasn’t ready to hear.

_What’s wrong with me liking him?_, I ask myself for the millionth time this week as I gather my things from the table at the radio station. I fell asleep while writing my script and dreamed about Yoongi again. This time he was scoffing at me, my words were coming out in hiccups, I was crying and looking at his bored face right after saying how much I wanted to be with him. And he was properly rejecting me with all the words. _He's always worse in my dreams._

I turn off the lights and leave to an empty and dark hallway. _Did they really leave me in the dark?_ I walk to the glass door, shoving and bumping my shoulder on it just to realize it’s very much locked. I check my phone.

_Oh no. _

It’s almost 10 pm, which means they locked this at nine with me inside, like Yoongi said it could happen a while ago. _I’m so stupid. _I slide down the wall, sitting right beside the glass door, and call my professor, praying that he’ll pick up and tell me what to do. After I explain him what happened and he spends ten minutes lecturing me that I should have enough hours of sleep during the night and in my own room, he says he’ll call someone to open the door for me.

I pull my knees up, supporting my forehead on them, and wait silently. I’ve been so tired lately, even more exhausted than back when Yoongi used to tease me on a daily basis and I couldn’t sleep. Now it’s worse because I don’t hear his voice, I don’t have my relaxing hour of the day. I also don’t see him and I don’t have my daily itch to touch him.

Annie has been concerned, she tries to make me bump into Yoongi somehow, _like that would help_. But our buildings are not close and if I don’t come to the station earlier, I won’t see him.

I hear the sound of keys and the door is pushed open. I look up to get my own thoughts shattered.

“I told you to be out before nine”, an annoyed Yoongi tells me.

God, I missed his voice. He is wearing a black hoodie, ripped jeans and white sneakers. It looks like he was running, his breathing is heavy and spaced.

“I fell asleep”, I explain, getting up from the floor. “Why do you even have a key?”

He’s silent for a few moments, _a deer caught in the headlights_. “I had to record more than one broadcast all at once and ended up stuck in here one night. Not that it’s none of your business”, Yoongi says defensively.

We stare at each other for good five seconds before he opens the door wider so I can leave. I see a glint of something in his eyes that quickly fades away, giving space to his usual bored facade.

“Where do you live?”, he asks me.

“In the dorms. Why?”

“It’s late. I’ll walk you there”, Yoongi is avoiding my gaze.

“You don’t have to, it’s okay”, I say because the last thing I want is to make him escort me to my room when I already made him run from wherever he was to open the door for me.

“Just walk”, he orders, palming my back and softly pushing me in the right direction. Yoongi drops his hand as soon as we start to walk side by side.

“Thank you for opening the door.”

He just nods silently, his hands shoved inside the front pockets of his jeans, eyes trained in front of us. The campus is almost dead, but we still see some students mingling around. There are some dark spots under the trees where light poles don’t reach so it’s better not to walk alone during the night. It’s very considerate of Yoongi to walk me to the dorms’ building.

So when we arrive, I want nothing but to hug him. _Have I ever even hugged him like this?_ Besides that one time he back hugged me at the party, I don’t think so.

Yoongi stands in front of me, his eyes are finally analyzing my face. He’s probably pondering about my dark circles, but I’m enjoying this little time to engrave his image in my mind again. _Such a cute little button nose._

“Are you okay?”

_Look at his little pout when he speaks._

“What’s wrong with you?”, Yoongi waves his hand in front of me, calling my name to wake me up from the trance.

“What are you talking about? I’m fine.”

“Do you even know what sleep is? Your appearance… you look dead again”, he gets closer to me, the air shifting around us with this change.

“Thank you, Yoongi. I needed the compliment”, I fake laugh, breaking eye contact and trying to fish my keys out of my messy bag.

“Cut the crap”, he catches my hand and makes me stop. “You don’t show up at the radio anymore. Are you avoiding me?”

I look at his pale hand engulfing my wrist. The grip is far from tight; it’s a feather like touch, giving me freedom enough to just pull away from him. _He’s always been respectful, giving me space and letting me decide what and when I want._

“Look at me”, he asks, whispering my name right after. I do as he says, the warmth of his hand still on my skin. And, for the first time since I met Yoongi, I see a display of emotions fully open on his face. He’s concerned, tense and a bit desperate.

“You make me a mess, Yoongi”, I say as I remember the way his fingertips traveled around my wet stomach on the first night I went to his apartment. I twist my hand and let my finger caress the sensitive skin on the inside of his wrists, feeling the bulging veins.

Yoongi pulls his hand away from me, taking a step back with the action, and shoves it inside his front pocket again. “You should get some sleep”, his expression is back to the stoic facade.

_Another silent rejection._

“Fine.”

I stick my hand inside the bag, angrily trying to find the keys again. _Fuck this,_ I think to myself as I start to back away from Yoongi. I get inside the building without sparing him another glance.

* * *

“No.”

“Just one sip!”

“No, Annie.”

“But you need to cheer up!”

I look at my friend with a dull expression and she gives up, placing the red cup on top of the counter again. I didn’t even want to be here, but it’s Seokjin’s birthday party and, miraculously, he remembered about my existence and invited me. At least that’s what Annie told me, although I’m sure she’s the one who reminded him to invite me.

“He’s here, you know”, she whispers.

“What? He knows Seokjin?”

“I think either Hoseok or Namjoon knew Seokjin so he became friends with him too.”

I don’t see Yoongi since he took me to my dorm three days ago. I didn’t even think he’d be here, his circle of friends is a bit unknown for me and I couldn’t imagine he would, somehow, have friends in common with Jin.

“Shit, Annie. Why didn’t you tell me before?”, I say as I look around, trying to find any hint of a red, black or silver hair.

“Because you wouldn’t have come and I needed to get you out of your room!”, Annie screams already running away from me. She knows I’m about to commit murder and she’s the victim.

_I’m in this house for barely ten minutes and I already want to leave. _I don’t follow her, standing behind the counter, trying to take deep breaths and relax.

“I didn’t think you’d come. Aren’t you busy with books or something like that?”, I hear Seokjin’s melodic voice behind me. He’s looking tremendously – emphasis on that – handsome. He’s wearing a white silk blouse with silver buttons and light colored jeans. If it wasn’t for the black choker and his wide shoulders giving him a sinful look, he’d be angelic.

“How could I miss your birthday?”, I say with a bright smile, letting my eyes roam around his figure.

_Few months ago, I’d drool all over him. _Now, I can appreciate how handsome he is, but my body certainly doesn’t respond to it.

“Wow, I feel honored”, he says in a scoffing manner, knowing damn well that I wouldn’t be here if I could.

I may have hidden my little crush on Seokjin, but I’m sure he was aware of it back then. And I’m sure he enjoys the attention he gets everywhere he goes, otherwise he wouldn’t be so displeased when my eyes leave his figure unfazed. I finally see a patch of silver hair, Namjoon, a fire hair shows up right after him, Hoseok. And, lastly, the raven black haired guy that has been haunting my dreams, _Yoongi._

“Annie told me you got your heart broken.”

“Did she? She has a big mouth”, I grip the counter tighter.

Yoongi is wearing tight black jeans with two rips on his knees, black leather boots, a big Chanel belt and black t-shirt under the leather jacket. Silver chain earrings, silver rings and one with a big black stone. _A modern angel of death would look like this._

“She’s worried about you”, Seokjin’s voice is also pretty good to hear, addicting even. “She’s got some nerves, I can agree with that. She asked me for a favor when it’s my birthday.”

_Here we go._

“What is it?”

I watch as Yoongi leans on the wall, laughing at something Hoseok says. It takes one second for a short haired girl to approach them, directing her attention to Yoongi. I remember the person who called him having a sweet female voice, she said something about meeting him at a party before I took off my earbuds and stopped listening.

“Do you know how to heal a broken heart?”, Seokjin asks.

“No”, I reply barely paying attention to him.

Namjoon and Hoseok leave Yoongi and the girl alone in the corner of the living room, _giving them privacy. _

“Do you want me to teach you?”, Seokjin whispers so low that only my ears can hear, the loud music pumping inside the house helping that. I look at him, he smiles at me with plump lips and a mischievous glint in his eyes.

_So this is what Annie asked him._

“You don’t have to do this, Jin. I don’t need your pity fuck.”

He laughs loudly, his wide chest and shoulders moving with the action. “Come on, it’s not a pity fuck if I want it too.”

I raise an eyebrow up. _Now this is news._

“Since when? I believe you’ve been ignoring my existence for the past years.”

“So? Does it matter? I want it now. Annie asked me as a favor but it seems more like she gave me a birthday gift”, he shrugs.

At least he’s honest, I can give him that. I look back at Yoongi, he’s chatting and smiling at the girl, _he never did that when he was with me._ His eyes meet mine for the first time, his smile falters slightly, like he saw something unpleasant. 

_Whatever. _

Seokjin is waiting, his elbow resting on the countertop, and looking at me. “Okay”, I say before stepping closer to him. His eyes widen for a second, probably not expecting my decision, but it quickly gives place to a pretty smirk. He pushes himself off of the countertop and one of his hands finds my hips. I look at his chest, because that’s where my eyes reach without tilting my head upwards, until he grips my jawline.

_His lips are so plump and pink. _So why don’t I feel the urge to kiss him like I would have back then?

It’s soft, his tongue finds mine and licks the inside of my mouth. I hear the song flowing through my body, my ears suddenly picking up other sounds, my eyes open in the middle of the kiss, watching his pretty face. My hands are tugging at his silky blouse, but they don’t feel anything.

_I don’t feel anything._

Seokjin backs away and frowns at me. He knows my mind is not in the right place, he obviously can sense my lack of enthusiasm. “Who is it?”, he whispers still holding me. I don’t need the full phrase to know what he’s talking about.

“Yoongi.”

“Oh. I don’t think there’s a way to heal this heart yet, my darling”, Jin speaks softly.

“Are you both done?”, a delicious voice asks.

Seokjin lets go of me, smiling slightly. We look at Yoongi standing beside us, he’s trying his best to conceal the anger in his eyes.

“Yeah, I was just… telling her something”, Jin explains.

“On her lips?”

_Is this jealously I’m hearing?_

“Relax, Yoonie”, Jin pats his friend on the shoulder and smiles at me. “Now I’ll enjoy my own party.”

Seokjin leaves us alone – or as alone as we can be in a house full of people – and Yoongi stares at me. “Come”, he says already walking away. I follow his steps, glancing at Annie when we walk by the living room, there’s a weird smile on her face. _Did she plan all of this? _

We end up standing outside the house, I lean on the wall and watch as Yoongi runs his fingers through his soft black hair.

“What is it?”, I ask.

He stops in front of me, his body shadowing mine on the wall. “Why did you kiss him?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Because I wanna know.”

“It’s not like we’re together”, I shrug, getting annoyed at him. “And you obviously don’t like me back.”

“I never said that”, he’s clearly angry but still he doesn’t raise his voice at me.

“But you showed me. You backed away and froze both times I tried to open up to you. How am I supposed to read that?”

Yoongi shakes his head like he can’t believe my words, there’s a humorless smile on his face. “I needed space to think, you dumbass. I was also giving you space to think with your mind and not your hormones.”

“I know the difference between wanting to fuck you and liking you!”

“Do you? Looks like you were quick to find someone else when I wasn’t giving you attention”, his words are laced with pure venom, but he remains calm, keeping a safe distance from me.

“Oh, please. Like you weren’t flirting with that girl. I don’t think I ever saw you smile at me like that”, I start the phrase with a firm voice, determined to have the same effect his words had on me. But, as I finish it, I sound sad and broken even to my own ears.

Yoongi’s expression softens, he leans on the wall beside me and we stare at each other closely, hearing the muffled sound of the party ongoing inside the house. I missed his voice, his presence, his attention. I missed him and I can see that now, my hands itch to touch him. 

“I smile when I remember you jumping on that guy. You were so stupid to think you could stop whatever he’d do, so stupidly brave”, he tells me.

I sigh deeply, finally hearing some comforting – in his own way – words coming from him. “I felt like shit for the past weeks, you know that, right?”, I ask him without actually being mad. _How can I be mad when he’s speaking so calmly?_

“I can see that, you still look like you haven’t slept in days”, he glares at me, tonguing the inside of his cheek when his eyes reach my bare thighs. Wearing skirt was a smart move.

“I don’t know, it seems you like what you see”, I say. I concealed most of my dark circles so I know he’s just teasing me, especially when I see a hint of hunger in his expression as we stare at each other again.

“I can say the same.”

_Not my fault you look this good in all black!_, my mind yells.

“But I never hid the fact that I find you hot”, I reply instead.

One second and Yoongi is closing the distance between us, his mouth finding mine and instantly asking for entrance. I let him kiss me however he wants, not fighting for dominance I can’t keep up with. He controls me easily, his tongue tasting me, his hands kneading my flesh, my ass, my hips.

I groan when he pushes me against the wall and kisses my jaw, nipping at the skin. “I want you to remember this if you ever kiss anyone else”, Yoongi says before going down to his knees.

“Holy shit, Yoongi. What the fuck?”, I half say and half moan as I feel his teeth biting the soft skin of my thighs.

“Don’t be too loud and enjoy what I’m giving you”, he orders with a husky voice.

Yoongi grabs one of my legs and supports it on his shoulder. I freak out, looking around the dark side of the house, but there’s no one. A bite on the inside of my thigh makes me yelp with the pain. “Better keep your eyes on me”, he warns with a little peck on the bruised skin.

“Okay”, I breathe out.

He smiles and trails kisses from my thigh to my panties. I have no doubt I’m already wet at this point, seeing him going down with his hooded eyes watching me is probably enough to make me cum. He kisses my covered core before pushing my underwear to the side.

“Yoongi”, I whine in complaint, squirming on the wall.

_Being outside like this is already so kinky that having his face so close without even touching me is torture._

“Hmm?”, he slides his thumb on my lower lips, gathering the fluids dripping down.

I open my mouth, a silent moan coming out, and my eyes flutter when he finally presses hard on it, making me jerk on the spot.

“Stay still or I’ll leave you like this.”

I nod quickly and get rewarded with his tongue on my clit. _Fucking hell._ He sucks it inside his mouth and it’s so warm, the feeling is so overwhelming that my legs start to give out. “Too much”, I cry at Yoongi.

He’s such a delicious motherfucker smirking at me with his mouth still pressed on my clit. “Yeah?”, he licks from my entrance up to my sensitive nub, sliding a single finger in me. “Too much for my little bitch?”

I clench around it with the sinful pet name, tilting my head back and releasing a high pitched moan. “I think you can endure it, can’t you?”, he asks me just to tease me further.

“Dude, come on. She didn’t even show up yet”, an approaching male voice speaks.

_Fuck._

Yoongi stands up as soon as we hear someone close to where we are, he pulls my skirt down and grabs my hand, dragging me away from the house. “Where are we going?”, I ask still a bit frightened with the possibility of someone seeing the scene Yoongi and I were starring.

“My apartment. Is that okay?”

“Definitely.”

* * *

We barely get inside the elevator before I jump on Yoongi. I push him against the cold surface and my body against his own. My hands run from his stomach to his chest, finally gripping the roots of his silky hair. He grabs a handful of my ass, making me grind against his growing length. The door opens and I quickly detach from him, taking his hand and pulling him outside. As soon as we’re inside his quiet apartment, I stumble to his bedroom. My shirt flies in the air, Yoongi shoves his jacket down, I undo his belt, sitting on the edge of the bed with him between my legs.

He whispers my name and his hand cups my cheek. I look up, Yoongi has a tiny smile on his lips, he gazes at me with fondness in his eyes. Even though my fingers are working on his zipper – a sinful act itself – he looks at me softly. This pulls all my heartstrings, my chest gets filled with an emotion I didn’t feel in a long time. Having a crush on someone and falling in love are different things, and Yoongi is showing me just how hard I’m falling for him.

“Yes?”, I reply in a small voice.

“I want to know you. Properly.”

I nod in response, smiling back at him, and he places both knees on each side of my thighs. Yoongi pushes my shoulders down and sits on my crotch. The button of his jeans is open, the t-shirt is pulled up slightly letting me peek at his hipbone and the soft skin of his stomach.

Being pushed to the edge by his tongue already made me worked up, but seeing this death angel sitting on me with a perverse look on his face is making my insides scream for help. One second he’s soft and the other he’s looking like the personification of sin_. This is an emotional roller coaster._

“I want to know your body too”, he caress my collarbones with his cold fingertips, guiding them down to one of my covered nipples. _Should have taken off the bra!_, I curse at myself. “Inch by inch”, he continues, sliding his fingers down to my lower belly. “And memorize every action that makes you squirm”, Yoongi says that leaning on me, his hand suddenly travelling up again to knead my breast. He kisses me agonizingly slow and pulls back too soon.

My breathing is long gone, completely shattered, mind focused on him, eyes lost in his face, chest, stomach… the bulge in his pants. I palm his covered length and Yoongi responds by pinching my nipple so hard that I writhe under him.

“Do you want that?”, his lips move on mine and his voice… so deep and a bit raspy. _Dear God, his voice is gonna be the death of me._

“Yes”, I breathe out.

“So beg me”, he grips the roots of my hair and waits, his eyes studying my face. “Beg me like you’ve been wanting to all this long.”

This time around, I don’t feel anything trapped inside my throat, I don’t feel heavy and agonized. I’ve told him what I had to, I’ve heard what I wanted to hear now.

“Please, Yoongi”, I whimper, rolling my hips up just to show him how much I need him. I peck his lips and call his name, pleading for whatever he wants to give me. He shuts me up with a bruising kiss, pulling my panties down in the process, and doesn’t even remove his pants before I feel him forcing his way in my throbbing walls. I moan with the feeling, grabbing his hips with my trembling fingers, but he won’t let go of my lips.

The metal of his belt hits the back of my thighs but I can barely feel the pain. Yoongi slides his hands under my ass and pushes my core against him, reaching new spots inside me. Each of his thrusts is finished with his hip forcing deeper, rubbing my walls and my sensitive nub simultaneously.

“A-ah, Yoongi”, I whimper with the sensation, a tear runs down my temple.

_Shit, I think I'm seriously in love with this man_.

Yoongi smirks slightly and wipes the tear before it reaches my hairs. “That good, baby?”, he asks, licking the corner of my mouth. I can’t respond with this hips going faster, punishing me with a vicious pounding that will make me ache by the morning, so I just nod, savoring the pet name. He slides his hand down my core, feeling my lower lips spread around his thick length, gathers my fluids on his fingertips and circles my clit.

More tears find their way down my temples, my voice gets hoarse with all the moaning, my fingers go numb with how tight I grip the sheets under me. I cum with his name on my tongue. My closed eyes can’t see Yoongi's expression when he releases white hot liquid inside me, but I hear him grunting, hiding his face in the crook of my neck.

I take a deep breath to calm my racing heart and feel a peck on my cheek before he looks at me again.

“You okay?”, he asks, analyzing my face. Black hair sticks to his forehead, we’re both sweaty since he didn’t even take off his clothes.

“Yes, and you?”

He nods in response and supports his weight on his elbow, fingertips sliding up and down on my waist in a comforting manner.

“You fucked me so good I almost said I love you”, I tell him softly.

Yoongi frowns at me for two seconds before laughing loudly, falling on top of me again. “Don’t laugh at me!”, I yell offended but I keep on caressing his hair, happy to hear his rare laugh. He kisses my skin multiple times, silently asking for forgiveness.

But I’m not mad.

_I’m happy. _

* * *

I put on my earbuds and run through the windy campus, already late. There’s a song I don’t recognize playing, which means I probably lost some of Yoongi talking during this broadcast. But I wouldn’t be this late if I hadn’t woken up with my legs trapped under him and my whole body sore from last night. I had to run to my dorm, get changed and I still arrived late for class. The rest of the day was just me being late for everything else, including seeing Yoongi before the broadcast begin.

_“I don’t usually do this… Actually, I never did this before. But this next song is for an irritating person who decided to annoy me as her hobby”, _a shiver runs down my spine when I hear Yoongi talking about me. “_She’s been watching me through this glass window for weeks and now that I need her here, she’s nowhere to be found, so fucking irritating”_, his voice makes me run even faster.

_“Anyways, this one is for you, dumbass. Because I know you’re listening to me”_, even though there are hundreds of people listening to him right now, I feel that the last phrase is for my ears only.

_“I woke up pissed off today;_

_And lately everyone feels fake;_

_Somewhere I lost a piece of me;_

_Smoking cigarettes on balconies.”_

As I instantly recognize the song, I feel my chest tighten with the meaning behind the words. 

_“But I can't do this alone;_

_Sometimes I just need a light;_

_If I call you on the phone;_

_Need you on the other side.”_

I finally get inside the building and run down the hall, practically slamming the radio station’s door open. My bag is thrown on the couch and I stand in front of the glass window, feeling relieved when I see Yoongi waiting for me there.

He’s sitting down on the chair, ripped jeans and black t-shirt on, resting his face on the palm of his hand and a little smile showing up on his pretty features.

_“So when your tears roll down your pillow like a river;_

_I'll be there for you;_

_I'll be there for you;_

_When you're screaming, but they only hear you whisper;_

_I'll be loud for you;_

_But you gotta be there for me too.”_

I still listen to the song through my earbuds, letting the words sink in my mind and my heart. I slowly get away from the glass window, making my way inside the radio booth and taking off one earbud. I open the door lightly; peaking inside to be sure he’s okay with me getting in.

“Come here”, Yoongi beckons me.

I step closer to him, standing in front of his chair. He grabs one of my hands, looking up at me with gleaming eyes under the fluorescent lights. The song keeps on playing in the booth, we both listening to the meaning behind Troye’s There For You.

“Do you understand now?”, he asks gently.

“Yes”, I whisper back.

And I let Yoongi tell me what he wants to through the lyrics while his fingers tenderly caress my wrist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this fic just way too much, you can buy me a coffee at https://ko-fi.com/foxyseok 🥰🥰


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glimpses of how your relationship with Yoongi can go when he's so stubborn but oh so sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is almost time, my sweethearts, to say goodbye to this world that I enjoyed so much writing. I absolutely loved writing this Yoongi and the reason why I took so long to update is: I wanted this ending to be perfect. Which is why I'll add one more small chapter to wrap everything up after this one.
> 
> I hope y'all like it.

2 months into the relationship

Yoongi is a different guy. He's not much of a talker, dating him has been... interesting, to say the least. For me, he's by far the most entertaining person in this planet right now. To watch him working on his tracks or just lying down on his bed, it's amusing to me. He's so prettily calm, bored, peaceful. I've been learning how to read his little display of emotions, or the lack of it. 

  
Like that night I forgot to bring a warm coat and arrived at the radio station almost freezing. It was cozy inside so I instantly sighed in relief. He looked at me with a neutral expression while I placed a chaste kiss on his soft cheek. I watched as he finished his broadcast and recorded my own. At the end, when we were leaving together, he wrapped his leather jacket around me. 

  
"Idiot. How did you just leave without a coat?", he mumbled.

Now he waits for me every night. He wants to make sure I arrive at my dorm safely or he just drags me to his own apartment. Usually, it's the last, which I'm really glad. 

"I was late so I completely forgot", I pouted as I replied. 

  
"You're always late."

  
"Most of the times it's your fault!', I blamed him.

His eyes were soft on me, his lips pressed together in a fine line, hands holding the jacket around me. Yoongi brought me closer, hugged me tightly, pressing his forehead on mine. 

  
"Won't you be cold?", I asked.

He was wearing a grey wool sweater, but I still got worried about him. I was worried about him all the time. I was worried about him eating or not, about him sleeping or spending his nights awake, about him graduating soon and leaving. I was constantly thinking about him. 

I remember how Yoongi said he was just fine but I still didn't let him go until we arrived at his apartment. He complained the whole way there, saying he wasn't a kid and didn't need me protecting him from "any shitty weather". I didn't care, I couldn't lose the opportunity of hugging him for that long. 

I'm not used to a guy like Yoongi, but I don't think anyone can deal with him as good as I can. 

* * *

3 months into the relationship

Parties didn't make sense anymore. I tried to attend one after I started dating Yoongi, but it didn't last long. He was looking hotter than usual that night so I just couldn't contain myself. We ended up leaving twenty minutes after and he fucked me in the elevator. 

Still, I didn't have the heart do decline when Hoseok himself invited me. He promised it'd be cool. I begged my boyfriend, literally on my knees, to go with me.

"You know I need to write my essay", was all he told me before his mind finally grasped my position on the floor. His eyes darkened with thoughts and I raised my eyebrows, silently asking if he wanted anything from me while I was already on my knees. 

"You're a distraction, just go to this party and try not to drink too much", Yoongi told me while petting my head, leaving the room with rushed steps before we would end up jumping on each other. 

Now, I'm standing still in the middle of the crowded house, drunk people shout, dance and fall around me. Annie is nowhere to be found, Hoseok is smiling brightly in front of me, he's claiming this is his favorite song, but I can't hear a thing. The alcohol I've been consuming for the past couple hours finally hitting my brain all at once. I'm seeing my surroundings in a blur; my eyes can't really focus properly on anything. 

"Hoseok", I mumble too low for him to listen to me. He's jumping around to the sick beat of the song. 

_Fuck, he's a good dancer._ His lean body reminds me of Yoongi and, instantly, I'm sad. 

I want Yoongi here, dancing with me, his big hands roaming around my waist while I dance slowly to an electronic song. Because that's how he likes it, slow and languid.

Since Hoseok can't even hear me, I tap on his shoulder and make some gestures to say I'm going outside a bit. He nods and I leave with my phone in hands already, looking for a number that now I'm quite used to call everyday. 

"Yoongi", I whine when he picks up the phone.

"Yeah?", his voice through the phone is calm and deep, just like I know it'd be.

"Where are you?"

"You know I'm home, baby", the nickname is still new to me. Yoongi calls me that when he's feeling soft, which is very rare. 

"I want you."

"You're drunk, huh?", he chuckles. 

"Can I go there? Please?"

"Of course you can, what a stupid question."

Yoongi calls me an Uber with his own phone and I arrive quicker than I thought, texting a drunk apology to Hoseok and Annie on my way there. 

As I get to his floor, I see him waiting for me at the door. He's serious, looking me up and down. "I thought I told you not to drink too much", he asks me when I stand in front of him. 

"I missed you so much", I ignore his slightly annoyed face and hug his waist. 

Yoongi takes us inside with me still wrapped around his middle. 

"You're such an idiot sometimes", he tells me, his arms unlinking us. Yoongi drops me on his bed and gets on his knees, removing my boots.

"Call me baby again", I ask him with a pout.

He's quiet as he finishes taking off my coat and placing me under the blankets. "No", he responds with a small smirk.

"You don't deserve the radio hottie nickname", I let it slide while I pull the covers over my head. 

"Wait, what? Radio hottie? You call me that?", I hear him laughing. 

"Only when you're not listening."

I feel his weight on top of me and he uncovers my face, looking me in the eye. His pretty lips displaying an even prettier smile. "Baby", he whispers. 

My heart can't help but to lose a beat. He can call me that for years and I'll still feel warm and fuzzy hearing it.

"You like that?", Yoongi asks me and pecks my lips lightly. His face is so close and I just wanna kiss him properly, lick his lips and suck his tongue, pull his hair and bring his body closer to mine. I try to remove the covers all the way so I can touch him, but he's got me trapped under it, using his blanket to restrain me. "Yoongi", I whine, squirming to free myself. 

"No, sleep. You're still a bit drunk."

I should have known he'd never touch me if I was drunk, but it's not even that much and I suddenly want him so badly. 

"I'm not that drunk! Come on!", I complain but it's to no avail, he lets me go but as soon as I can grab him, he's standing up. 

"If you behave and sleep tonight, I'll reward you in the morning", he promises me before leaving the room. 

I don't think I can sleep, but my eyes flutter close easily a few minutes after he leaves. During the night, I feel him lying beside me. I reach for him still with closed eyes. I nuzzle his neck and feel his arm pulling me close until we're comfortable. I hear his deep voice saying "baby" one more time before finally drifting back to sleep. 

* * *

10 months into the relationship

My eyes look at the vintage clock hanging on the living room’s wall for the millionth time now. I bought it at a garage sale because I thought Yoongi would like the brown wood. In fact, he loved it so much that he wanted to hang it on our bedroom’s wall, but as soon as he realized it wouldn’t match the white, grey and black aesthetic of it, he gave up on the idea. The fact that he’s so good at interior design still blows me away.

I check my phone and there’s no notification. I told him to come back home earlier, it’s his birthday after all. This morning, I woke up at 6 am to make him breakfast, but he was nowhere to be found in bed.

Yoongi was already sliding a small keyboard in his bag, a cup of iced Americano in hand, fully dressed in black and a big round glass on the tip of his nose. 

“Why are you up so early?”, I had asked him.

“I have too much to do at work today”, he spared me a glance before closing the bag and hanging it on his shoulder.

“But it’s your birthday, I didn’t even think you’d work today”, I pouted slightly and Yoongi just smiled at me, coming closer to my disappointed self.

“When I’m the boss, I’ll spend as many days as you wish at home. For now, I have to work a lot, kitten”, he pinched my left cheek and pecked the other one.

I was left to spend his own birthday alone. Since I only had afternoon classes, I came home early and made dinner. Yoongi had graduated not long ago, he was even able to choose where to work. Apparently, I date a very talented producer. I knew he could rap and write lyrics, but I didn’t know the extent of his talent.

I sent him a simple text saying he didn’t have to get anything for dinner, asking him to come home when he was done there, which is usually at 7 pm.

But he didn’t.

And as I look at the clock again, seeing the hands mark 10 pm, I get up and put the food in the fridge. Washing the dishes and cleaning the table we didn’t even use.

When Yoongi first started to work, it wasn’t this bad. We spent a lot of time together, especially during my break from university. We decided to move in the same apartment two months ago, when we both had enough money and courage to start a real life as a couple. Financially speaking, Yoongi’s in a better place than I am now that he can actually use his music degree, so we rented a small apartment next to his work and my university campus.

I rest on the huge bed, remembering when we had a hard time bringing it up the stairs because the mattress didn’t fit the elevator. After we placed it in our bedroom, I laid down beside Yoongi. He had his eyes closed, taking a break since we were moving our stuff the whole day.

“Tired?”, I asked while moving black bangs away from his forehead.

“Yeah, we basically spent hours just bringing piles and piles of your books.”

“Hey! You had like dozens of heavy equipments that we had to bring up too!”

“But mine are useful, what are we gonna do about your books? I’ll use them as paper weight”, he said, opening his eyes to mock me.

“I’ll use your corpse as paper weight, Yoongi”, I threatened him.

He got up on his elbows and glared at me with a hard look before making me regret those words. We hadn’t even put bed sheets on and Yoongi already made a good use of the bed, punishing me anytime my fluids dripped down my thighs and collecting them with his tongue.

The memory makes me squirm alone in the dark. Lately, he has been busier than ever. His boss only trusts him to do most of the things in the company. Yoongi writes and produces for three different artists now and he barely began working there.

I’m almost falling asleep when I hear the front door being opened. It’s 11:10 pm according to the digital clock on the bedside table. I don’t even bother getting up, I slide down the covers again and close my eyes.

_I’m not angry at him_, I tell myself. _I’m disappointed, that’s all. I deserve to be a bit mad. _

Yoongi calls my name when he comes in the bedroom, I hear him taking off his clothes and opening the closet.

“I know you’re awake”, he says in a neutral voice. “You don’t sleep unless I’m by your side.”

_Damn Yoongi and his ability to catch on my shit that easily._

“You’re in the room now so I’m trying to sleep”, I mumble.

Opening my eyes, I peak as Yoongi shakes his head and gets in the bathroom. He lets the door open, I hear the water flowing down. I know it’s a silent invitation for me to join him if I want – and oh God how I want it – but I stay still. He comes out a few minutes later, hair wet and wearing a fresh pair of black sweatpants and white t-shirt.

Yoongi glances at me before sliding under the covers, I lie down on my back to stare back at him.

“I’m sorry, I got too busy”, he explains with an apologetic face.

I keep on looking at his little pout when he speaks, my disappointment fading away as I feel his hand looking for mine. He likes to hold hands and I never deny him that. I reach for the bedside table and grab a little gold box on it.

“Well… happy birthday, dear”, I say as I give him the gift I spent the last two months working for. I even sold some of my stuff to buy it just because I thought Yoongi would look good with it.

“Thank you”, he smiles and pecks the tip of my nose. I watch him open the box with his long pale fingers. I’ve seen him playing the piano only once, when he graduated and his mentor asked for a performance. God, it was beautiful and I wish I was closer to see his fingers playing the tiles.

“Kitten, how did you get this?”, he asks surprised, his eyes glowing with the silver watch in his hand. It suits his skin color so perfectly.

“That’s none of your business”, I respond just like I’m sure he would respond to me.

Yoongi glares at me, his face coming closer, and he whispers on my lips, “You little brat, don’t think that a nice gift will release you from punishment if you talk like that.” He kisses me while his hand travels on my bare thighs, I feel the cold surface of the watch on my skin and I push him away just to look at his veiny hand kneading my flesh.

“Looks so good on you”, I say already a bit breathless.

“You like my hands, don’t you?”

I nod silently because there’s almost nothing he doesn’t know about me already. I don’t know if I’m too easy to read or Yoongi is just really sharp, but he for sure knows more than enough of my kinks.

“How about I give you something back too?”, he gets up on his knees and between my legs.

“Like what?”, I ask apprehensive as I see the way this evil demon looks down at me. The wet hairs falling on his straight brows, dark eyes studying my face, hands holding my thighs open to accommodate him between them.

“Since you like my hands that much…”, he starts with a sweet voice, leaning on me to kiss my jawline, “… how about we see if you can take one of them in you?”

My eyes widen with the image forming in my mind, I automatically try to clench my thighs and Yoongi notices, chuckling with the obvious response of my body.

“I’ll be gentle with you because you’re always so tight for me”, once again his husky voice has more effect on my hormones than any porn ever would.

* * *

11 months into the relationship

I open the big box in the middle of the living room, so excited I don’t even wait for Yoongi. He’s complaining about something on the phone with someone from the studio.

I’ve been waiting for this little table for three weeks, we bought it from a small Chinese online shop. It’s black, delicate, with a pretty greenish glass and beautiful silver details adorning it.

I thought home decor was my thing before I met Yoongi. He decorated our whole apartment. Of course I gave my opinion about some things, but mostly I loved everything he picked. We have the same tastes so it’s easy to please each other when it comes to that.

“I need to go to the studio for a bit. Wait for me so we can set up this table”, Yoongi tells me as soon as he sees me opening the package.

"I can do it alone”, I say defensively.

“No, it’s made of delicate wood and glass, just wait for me.”

“I’m not stupid. I can set up a table, Yoongi.”

My boyfriend looks at me with an annoyed face, like he’s ready to start an argument, but his phone starts ringing again and he leaves the apartment without a word.

_It’s just a table with small legs, it should be easy, right?_

Wrong! The legs are curved and when I twist the four of them, each faces different sides, completely horrible. I almost break the glass four times while trying to place them.

Yoongi arrives forty minutes later and I’m still on the floor, my hands red with the job of twisting the legs over and over again. He looks at me, at my poor job of setting one simple table, and goes to his little studio at home.

“Hey! You said you’d help me”, I follow him inside.

Yoongi’s got all the equipment he needs inside this spare room, but there are some things missing that he still wants to buy. A big black leather chair stays behind the desk. We’ve used both of them for non-musical meanings before and oh lord how that was good.

“Seems like you have everything figured out already”, he replies without looking at me, his eyes roaming the papers written with his handwriting.

“The legs are hard to assemble and I…”

“And you can do it alone, right?”, he finishes for me and raises his eyes, also arching an eyebrow. He’s such a cocky motherfucker.

“Right.”

I go back to the living room with an annoyed sigh. A package of little silver nails is still unopened, I didn’t even figure out where those go!

I’m stubborn, I know that, but Yoongi can be worse. I start to put the pieces of the small table back in the box, since I won’t be setting this up anytime soon.

“Take them out”, I hear my favorite voice telling me.

I obey him silently, placing all the pieces on the floor again. Yoongi kneels in front of it, looking carefully at all the materials, and starts to place them where they belong. Delicately, quite different from me, he twisted the legs until the curves in the end were facing the right angle. The nails were screwed to keep them in place.

I kept watching him without touching anything until he put the glass on top of it, finishing ten minutes after he had just started.

“There”, he gets up, ready to leave the room.

“Thank you”, I say as I gather the plastic, putting it inside the box.

Now, he watches me cleaning everything quickly, folding the box and the plastic so they can fit inside the trash can.

“What?”, I ask.

“You’re such a stubborn woman”, Yoongi is leaning on the wall with his arms crossed. He’s wearing a simple black t-shirt and some jeans, not ripped for once.

“I thought it was easier, okay?”, I click my tongue and go to the kitchen, throwing away the box.

“Do the things you’re good at and let me do mine”, he tells me much closer now.

I roll my eyes exactly when I’m turning around, a huge mistake because Yoongi sees it and his eyes, that once were soft and playful, darken in two seconds. He hates it when I roll my eyes and I do that a lot when we’re fighting, which is why we can go from a discussion to a quick and hard fuck really fast. I stand still, waiting for some reprimand, but he just walks to me, like hunting a prey.

_Why and how did I end up dating such a hot guy? _I swear it’s a curse, seeing him this serious always has instant influence on me.

Yoongi starts analyzing my face, checking to see if we’re in the same mind space. And we usually are, because it’s hard not to be ready to jump on him when he looks like this. His pale hand grabs my jawline, lifting my chin so I can look him straight in the eye.

“Roll your eyes at me again and you won’t cum for a month”, his calm and deadly voice warns me.

I don’t do it, obviously, but I don’t say sorry either. He keeps staring at me with a piercing gaze, the one I fell for so easily after I met him. His tongue licks my lips and I feel my panties dampen with his moves, he has no intention of touching me more than this – I know because we’ve been here before – but it’s already enough to get me worked up.

I poke my tongue a tiny bit, just to test the waters, and he gifts me with a kiss. Not a sweet and calm one, a ravishing one, where his mouth claims mine. I start to fall backwards with the force of his kiss and he finally holds my waist, gripping my neck to keep me in place. My hands fly to his shoulders, going up to the roots of his soft hair.

When I feel my lungs complaining with the lack of air, Yoongi backs away a bit, giving us both space to breathe. “I really love it when you act like a stubborn brat just to become needy later”, he tells me.

“You love me all the time then”, I say breathing heavily.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

* * *

1 year and a half into the relationship

I open the front door loudly, plopping down my purse and wet umbrella. I had planned to go out, shop for groceries, maybe even visit a coffee shop to get Yoongi his favorite Americano. But I ended up facing this heavy rain right after I left so I barely bought food.

“Yoon? Are you home?”, I ask as I remove my sneakers.

“Yeah, in the kitchen.”

I also take off my coat and go look for my boyfriend who’s sitting by the countertop wearing a serious expression and grey pajamas.

“I couldn’t get your coffee because I almost drowned out there, for real.” I start to organize the groceries, opening the cabinets and the fridge. Yoongi remains silent so I take a glimpse at his figure; he has both hands holding his chin, face looking down at the black countertop.

“Is something wrong?”, I ask him.

“I want to adopt”, he suddenly says, looking up at me.

I freeze with a bunch of bananas in hands, tilting my head to stare him. “You what?”

“I want to adopt”, he repeats.

I clear my throat and place the bananas on the countertop, palming my hands on it to face him correctly. “Yoongi, I didn’t even graduate yet. We barely stay at home now that we both work, I don’t think we can raise a child”, I reason with him with the best grownup voice I have.

Yoongi looks at me like I just said the most absurd thing in the world. “Who said anything about a child?”, he gestures in the air.

_What?_

He unlocks his phone and slides it to me, the picture of a small brown Poodle on the screen. “I’m talking about a puppy, his name is Holly. And yes, I already gave him a name because I won’t accept no as an answer. He needs a home and we have an apartment that allows dogs, so why not?”

Perhaps, during all this time I’ve met Yoongi, this is the most I’ve seen him talking and defending something. I don’t think he said this much about capitalism even back when he still had his broadcast going.

“Oh, a puppy. Yes, of course we can adopt him”, I say relieved.

Yoongi smiles happily, retrieving back his phone to look at the new baby of the house. For the next couple days, we look around town for little beds, toys, food and anything puppy related. Yoongi even bought a silver – like real silver – collar for Holly.

When the family who rescued the pup from the streets brought him to our apartment, I saw the prettiest smile on Yoongi’s face, he had real heart eyes for the little dog. And Holly instantly fell in love for his new owner, making the cutest faces and reactions for Yoongi. I myself fell for Holly like an idiot, I felt like a mother watching her kid and husband getting along.

We filmed Holly’s first pee, first bark and first walk around the neighborhood. When we went to sleep, the pup slept silently beside our bed in his own little bed. But, in the middle of the night, Yoongi got his new baby and placed him between us.

“It’s too cold for him to stay on the floor”, he whispered at me, defending his action. But, in all honesty, I would have done that myself sooner or later.

A month after we got Holly, I went through Yoongi’s phone – he had asked me to find a picture of this furniture he found at the flea market – and saw dozens of pictures of Holly sleeping on my belly on the couch. Holly’s such a fluffy puppy that I take a nap with him almost everyday after I arrive from work. Yoongi just casted me a side glance when I made fun of him for being so whipped.

“You think I don’t know you wake up half an hour earlier than I do just to watch me sleep with him?”, he accused me with an annoyed face.

“How do you know that?”, I ask surprised.

“You fucking giggle like an idiot! How can I ignore you whispering how cute we look? You’re not that sneaky, baby.”

* * *

2 years into the relationship

I heard Yoongi arriving home two hours ago and I still didn’t see him. He went straight to his little studio and didn’t close the door, which is why I can hear him arguing angrily with someone.

I was working on my own stuff, finishing some articles for the next week’s magazine, so I left him alone. But now, it’s almost midnight and I just wanna sleep peacefully, with or without him. With him is always better, though.

Now that he’s getting more and more important in the company, he’s been busier and more stressed than ever. A few times, I considered telling him to quit it, still I could never mutter it out. It’s his dream job after all. He’s a producer, he writes lyrics and then sees them becoming hits and inspiring people. He’s doing what he loves and I can’t find it in me to tell him to stop, even if it’s draining the life out of him. So I just stay beside him, no matter what, I support him through these tough days and give him space when he needs.

If I knew dating a producer was like this… I’d have talked to Yoongi sooner back in college. Because I can’t deny how much I love and adore this man. And my eyes can’t ignore how even more handsome he’s getting over the years. Now he’s been wearing such nice stuff; long black and grey coats, button downs, turtlenecks, fancy shoes, silver jewelry. He even wears glasses since he works looking at screens for so long, black frame glasses that I absolutely love.

So, when I see him finally getting in our room, my eyes are pleased once again. He’s wearing a white turtleneck, long coat and black tight jeans, not ripped anymore.

“Hi, babe”, Yoongi greets me with a tired voice and drops his coat on the armchair.

I smile back at him and stretch my arms, closing and opening my hands, calling him to greet me properly. He smiles tiredly and complies, sitting beside me on our bed to hug my body. I’m wearing nothing but flimsy PJs so I feel the soft material of his clothes all around me. Yoongi pets the back of my head lovingly and kisses my forehead before getting up.

“I’ll take a shower, be right back”, he takes off his turtleneck and his hair gets all messy.

_Okay, this is hot._

I should be used to all of this by now, but it still gets me feeling some type of way. I put my notebook away and hear the water flowing in the bathroom. Few minutes go by and Yoongi’s phone starts ringing. He gets out of the shower with a towel hanging low around his hips and picks his phone from a pocket of his coat.

“What is it?”, he answers with a stern voice.

There’s nothing more erotic than his deep, raspy and annoyed voice. _And here we go again._ The image of his wet hair and body, the droplets traveling from his torso to his faint abs, everything is sinful. _God damn it, why am I so horny for him today?_

“I don’t care. We’ve discussed about this already. It should have been done yesterday and it wasn’t, so I’m taking care of it now. Are we understood?”

Yoongi is seriously mad, I not only hear but I also feel the venom dripping from his words. As much as I’m glad he’s not mad at me, I wish he was talking to me with that voice of his. I shift uncomfortably, wanting him to satisfy what he awakens in me every time I see him like this.

“If you call me again…”, he doesn’t finish his sentence, just hangs up and throws the phone on the carpeted floor.

Yoongi leans on the drawer, closing his eyes with a heavy sigh. I stay silent, sitting on the bed, because I know he’ll talk about it if he wants. He looks at me with cold eyes, roaming on my barely covered body, and I know he sees my nipples perking with his inspection. There are a few things hotter than getting his attention like this, and it’s his body and his serious voice. Now, I just got a display of both.

“What are you getting all excited for?”, he mocks me.

_This is how it’s gonna be then. _

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You don’t know, huh?”, slowly, he comes closer to me, pushing the wet hairs out of his face. “I see your pupils blown out and your nipples hard. I bet if I stick my hands under those little shorts you’ll be dripping wet for me already.”

I breathe heavily and unconsciously rub my thighs together, giving him exactly what he wants.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Strip”, his voice doesn’t carry that venom like before, but it’s still demanding and rough.

I take off my two pieces PJs but Yoongi doesn’t move, he’s still staring me from the end of the bed.

“Lie down and keep looking at me”, he orders.

“Won’t you come here with me?”, I ask, pouting.

“Shut up and do as I say, kitten.”

I nod and wait for him. He comes closer to the end of the bed, placing his hands on my ankles and opening my legs.

“How do you want it?”, Yoongi slowly starts to drag me down the bed.

“W-what you mean?”, I ask with my racing heart.

He lets go of my ankles when my legs are hanging out of the bed, open to accommodate him between them, and starts to slide his hands up my thighs. I feel the cold air hit my warm core, waiting for him to do something, literally anything.

“Do you want me to fuck you or make love to you, kitten?”, he kneads the flesh, massaging it, taking his time to make me feel relaxed and desperate at the same time.

“Whatever you want”, I say breathlessly. “Just do something, please.”

The sight of the towel still covering his hardening length was teasing me even further.

“Whatever I want?”, his hand is deliciously close to where I need him, thumbs massaging the inside of my thighs.

He smiles dangerously, eyes hungry eating me whole, watching how my breasts go up and down as I take deep breaths to calm down.

“Yes.”

“Then get on all fours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Compliments, suggestions and complaints are always welcome. Thank you for reading 💓
> 
> And if you liked this fic, you can buy me a coffee at https://ko-fi.com/foxyseok 🥰😘


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